Saturday, December 5

Lost in translation

There's something about the way kids talk - especially when they're just learning how - that leaves so much open to interpretation. And just the tiniest bit of mush mouth can throw an entire discussion way off track.

I was enjoying my evening in the office, just relaxing, having a glass of cheap wine. (And if you're a friend of mine on Facebook, you'll know I like me some cheap wine. Although, I can't have all that much anymore. But that's different. Anyway...) Back to the cheap wine.

Because I thought the kids were asleep.

Until this comes running into my office.

She's cute, right? Cute until she's hollering about a duck in the window. You heard me. A duck. In the window. Duck. Window. You get it.

BreMonster: Maaaaaaama! Is duck! In window!
Me: What?
Bre: Duck in window!
Me: There's a duck in your window?
She begins looking at me like I'm a complete idiot.
Bre: Truck. In. Willow.
Me (blinking in confusion): Truck in willow?
Bre (frustrated): Buck. In. Pillow.

At this point, she's frustrated and I'm way confused. Buck in her pillow? Are we talking a male deer? If so, can we make jerky? Or is her pillow now producing one dollar bills? If so, we need to make sure they're real.

Me: There's a buck in your pillow.
Bre: Buck.
Me: Buck. In your pillow.

And then came the voice of reason, the four year old, A-Girl, yells from her room like she's sick of hearing the whole thing:

MOM! It's a BUG. On her PILLOW!

Oh. I'll get this no problem.
Or, if it's to big, I'll get MarvMan.

So I go rushing off to get this bug. On the pillow. Not a duck in a window, a truck in a willow, or a buck in a pillow. But a bug. On a pillow.

I hate bugs.

I get in there, ready to put on the brave face, because I don't think I should transfer my irrational fears onto my daughters, only to be sorely disappointed. And hugely relieved. It wasn't, in fact, a bug.

It was a piece of fuzz.

I think we need to work on enunciation in this household.


  1. LOL. I love this. This is one of the best blogs you've posted in a while. Too cute. :D

  2. LMAO that's awesome. Mase has recently learned the work fork. he pronounces it f**k. Sitting in the restaurant one night, eating quietly and Mase says "Oh, NO! Drop f**k, Dad-dad! I want a f**k. F**K, dad. Uh oh, f**k on fwoor. Hewp. Me. Get. F**k."
    I kid you not. Mike listened and after a pause, turned to me and said " I know he's not saying what it sounds like he's saying"
    Mase chose then to say loudly,as a perfect punctuation to the moment - "f**k"
    word verification- bablyrat. Pretty sure that is what the kids are speaking. i could just see you preparing yourself to kill the buck-truck-duck-fuzz. Awesome.

  3. ROTFL!! She is precious! Now, I'm afraid to tell you this, but I still come running downstairs, screaming about ducks on the willow....and it turns out to be fluff.

    I check under my pillow every night for spiders cos they wait for me you know, and this one night, I jumped out of my skin; my husband had drawn a picture of a spider with a little speech bubble saying "Boo!". He's dead now....

    Noooo, not my husband...though it was close; the paper spider. I crushed him cos I'm soooo brave....