Wednesday, December 2

The long awaited name.

It's funny. All the searching for answers in this lovely little health mystery of mine, and I finally have a name for it.

Meniere's Syndrome.

There it is. It's there. Out there and sort of hanging.

A lot of the possibilities and options were discussed yesterday at the ENT. Some of it hit, some of it slipped by. The whole "losing your hearing" bit ran me over and things after it are a bit fuzzy. I wonder if they tell you the worst up front so you can be pleasantly surprised when it (hopefully) doesn't happen.

I do know that right now I'm on Prednisone for 6 days (4 since I took yesterday and today's doses), and a water pill for 3 months. I'm not really sure what affect these will have in the grand scheme of things, but we'll see how everything goes. The Prednisone is giving me some nasty mood swings. I found myself angry tonight for seemingly no reason whatsoever. And it felt like a drunk sort of angry, mixed with exhaustion. Now I'm sort of drained, but awake. Which is why I'm here.

Van Gogh apparently might have had Meneiere's, according to Wikipedia. It's rumored that the ringing in his ear was what made him cut it off. I have to admit that there are days when I've thought that would be a brilliant idea.

Yesterday, all I wanted to do was talk about it. The diagnosis, what was going on, what was happening. I was so overwhelmed that I needed to talk. I needed somewhere to go with it. Someone to give me feedback that wasn't just "Well, go do this" or "Well, go do that" or "That's silly."

I felt full to bursting of different energies because of this - I was ready for it, but I wasn't. I had been researching and when my primary care provider mentioned it, I thought, okay, well, I'll look it up. But the full effect of finally being slapped with a label was so overwhelming in so many different directions, I couldn't stop the word vomit if I tried. Some were understanding. MarvMan is so worried about the diagnosis. I spent most of the night in my office, just sort of staring off, crocheting, reading, mindlessly playing Bejeweled. Anything to stave off the mental "ZOMGZ" explosion.

The road gets difficult from here. But it's going to be worth it knowing I have a name for this traveling companion.

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