Monday, February 2

These are the rules, ladies

Posted this on my Facebook, but I couldn't resist cross posting here.

Most of this applies to military wives, but I'm sure it could apply to any women.

A Military Wife's Ten Commandments

1. It all starts with you. Respect yourself. - Seems like it would be pretty easy, but a lot of people struggle with it. Don't go around acting a fool. Hanging out at the bar is fun - hitting on other guys, acting like an idiot, showing skin = not cool. We're grown women. If you don't respect yourself, no one will respect you. If you don't respect yourself, no one will respect your husband, either.

Which brings us to...

2. Respect your husband. - You can't get respect without giving it first. You also have to earn your respect. Obviously, your husband respected and loved you enough to make you his wife. He saw something in you that he can't live without. Remind him of just how awesome you are and show him love every day. Fights are inevitable, but don't go to bed angry, make up sex is too much fun.

3. The way you act reflects on the rest of us. - People in general lump military wives all together as one collective entity. So if you're a bitch when you're out in town? You've just ruined it for the rest of us, simply because we've got dependent IDs, too. You run around on your husband? Congrats, you've labeled the rest of us as cheating whores. You act a fool at the bar? Gee, thanks, now everyone thinks we're all two drink bitches who can't act properly in public.

4. There is no "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". Or anywhere else for that matter. - You fuck up, you better come clean about it, because shit travels fast on the gossip train. Better to be heard straight from the source than from someone else.

5. Respect other people's family units. - Unless you're babysitting and you've been given permission to discipline another wife's kids, you're not their mama. Remember that. If you have kids of your own, spend time working with them. They're your priority, not someone else's kids.

6. A man alone is to be left alone. - You need something from your neighbor but she's not home? If you need it immediately, go ask but stay on the porch. You NEVER go into another woman's house when she's not there. Especially if her husband is home by himself. Not only does it look bad to all the other neighbors peeping out their windows, imagine how it would feel if you came home to find another woman in your house with your husband, playin mama to your kids and making like she runs your house. You'd be ready to slap a bitch, right?

7. Own your shit. - Everything you do. Even the stupid stuff. Own up to it and take responsibility. Manage your life properly, manage your finances properly, run your household smoothly. Life will be easier for you and you'll be able to enjoy your kids and your husband more.

8. What you do at command functions reflects on your husband. - No, this doesn't mean that you have to schmooze the CO's wife. But it also means that you don't go dragging another wife across the dance floor by the hair at the Christmas party just because she looked cross eyed at your husband. Don't chew out your husband's supervisor just because he switched your husband's shift. Guess what, we're married to the military. Shit changes at a moment's notice and there's not a thing you can do about it. Chewing out his supervisor will probably earn him some nasty shit at work.

9. Keep your damn mouth shut. - That whole "loose lips sink ships" thing sounds silly, but it's true. Don't you dare post specific dates of when your man is leaving, coming home, where he is, nothing. Don't even talk about it on the phone. The FBI records approximately 1 out of every 4 phone calls, and terrorists have more time on their hands to do that than the FBI does. Be smart. It's all about OPSEC, ladies. You want him home? Shut your mouth.

10. Tuck and roll, bitches. - Watch each other's backs. Take care of each other. When it comes right down to it, we're all we've got, ladies. Base to base, overseas tours, IA tours, Iraq, Cuba, wherever they go, we're left behind to support each other. Stop the back stabbing bullshit and let's try to act like the grown ass women we say we are.

I am by no means saying I'm perfect and follow all these rules to a T. Nor am I saying that everyone follows them all the time. It's a daily learning experience. But I know if we all put forth a little more effort, we wouldn't have such a bad rep and we'd probably have better support systems.

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