That Lin Chick

Officially moved, shiny new URL and everything!

2010-03-02T21:26:00.000-08:00

Alright, folks, I'm officially moved over to WordPress. Moving on up in the world! In addition? I've got a fancy new URL to share with you!

http://linlori.wordpress.com <-- see? Not that much different from my URL here.

But if you want REALLY simple?

http://linlori.com

Simple, easy, peasy, lemon squeazy! So come on over to the new place and say hello if you'd like - I'm going to do my best to keep following you all over here as well! Thanks for the love and laughs and support so far!

Moving day

2010-02-23T14:39:00.000-08:00

Today's the day! The sun is shining, the tank is clean! ... The tank is clean?

THE TANK IS CLEAN!

Actually, it's not. I've just moved to WordPress! Please update your feeds accordingly - I'm trying to figure out how to follow everyone I have been following here over on WordPress as well. Bear with me, and feel free to use the contact information on the Contact Page if you need to get ahold of me!

Catching up

2010-02-22T07:09:00.000-08:00

Mondays are always such rough days. It doesn't matter how positive you are when you swing your legs out from under the covers. And the devil himself may even be scared when your feet hit the floor, "Oh, shit! She's awake!" But let's face it: It's the first day back to the regular rise and grind routine after a weekend. If your weekend was good, you certainly don't want to be starting a new work week. And if your weekend was bad? You really don't want to jump out of bed on a Monday and yell, "Hit me with your best shot!"

I woke up with a nose so blocked and a throat so sore I swear I sounded like one of those old Yiddish grandmas from Queens who's smoked two packs a day every day since she was ten and the doctors are amazed she doesn't have cancer. I have a paper to churn out a rough draft for this week, among probably a zillion other projects.

Remind me to tell you tomorrow why I'm despising Interpersonal Communications.

So, mug of coffee in hand, I'm taking today to go around and check in with everyone on my following list. Mondays seem to be good for that sort of thing. Almost like water cooler chatting, except I'm going around to everyone else's cubicle. Aren't you glad these are virtual cubicles, so I can't spread my nasty germs?

For more in depth articles by me, come check me out on:

Blissfully Domestic
Feed Me Right

New to my blog? Feel free to stick around and read through recent posts - and leave a comment so I can come say hello to you!

What do you plan on racing on? Hopes and dreams?

2010-02-20T20:31:00.000-08:00

*the title is a quote lovingly adapted from The Fast and the Furious.

I feel sometimes as though I've been so swamped that I haven't had time at all to write. Creatively, that is.

I mean, here I am. Writing. Maybe it's interesting, maybe it's not. But I'm unraveling the rubber band ball in my head. Hoping to pull out a thread of some sort of creativity.

Sometimes I wonder if, because of the direction my life took, I'll ever be able to write for some actual monies one of these days. I've tried. Always having to start out for free. There was the unnamed first blog I wrote for. (I don't want to name it because, well, it had more bad than good attached to the experience.) And I absolutely love what I do for Blissfully Domestic.

I just feel sometimes as though everything I ever thought I wanted completely slipped away when I left home. Had I taken myself and everything around me more seriously, I could probably be working with my Dad right now in the studio.

And, man, I never realized how much I would miss all that until I had to leave it behind. Dying to be in that studio with him. To be a part of the creative process in some way, shape, or form. Finally be asked to help and that lump in my throat making me feel like I was going to puke because ohmigod I might mess up and I DO NOT want to let him down.

My Dad was, is, and always will be a musical genius. Legendary. I'm sad to say I never lived up to that potential he told me I had. And I'm even more sad to say that I never knew quite how to phrase just how much I looked up to him and respected him. I'm sad for the times we butted heads while growing up. Because the older I get, the more I realize he was right. About everything.

Writing is truly the only thing that's carried over from my "previous life" into my "current life." Because, let's be honest, karaoke is just a substitute. A good one, but a substitute nonetheless. And even Nutrasweet will give you cancer over time.

Yet I've had difficulties finishing a manuscript. Easily distracted, I figure if I'm bored with an idea, my readers would be, too. I mean, come on, if I don't wanna write it, why the hell would you want to read it?

And I don't care what anyone says - it's difficult to write with two children and everything else (college, Avon) going on in this household. It's hard to make the time and sometimes my brain is just plain fried out. Short circuited, blue screen of death, not even ctrl+alt+delete will save me now.

Oh, and Stephenie Meyer, you can just go shove it up your bottom. I'm talking about writing a novel worth the reading.

Now I'm at the point where everyone is either up in arms because they either feel I'm blaming my family for my inability to get any creative writing done or I'm picking on their literary goddess.

To the former: I'm not blaming my family. I'm having a rather enjoyable pity party. That whole wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger theme. Pass the whiskey or find the exit.

To the latter: No comment. No. Comment.

Who knows. Maybe this little pity party for myself will turn into some real motivation. I need to monitor my time. I've been taking more and more breaks from Twitter (my apologies to my followers, but I need to focus on the priorities) lately, but even then I feel like there's never enough times.

I can't keep racing on hopes and dreams, though. One of these days I'm just going to have to plow right on through it.

Victim of location

2010-02-17T19:12:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been quite homesick. I'm not sure why, but I go through these periods where I miss the heck out of my family and my home state. Where is my home state, exactly? Pennsylvania. At my current location in Nevada, I am 2,543 miles away from my hometown.

So when I'm feeling homesick, I can't just walk down the road and get a hug from my Mom. When I'm having a rough day, I can't just meet Dad somewhere for lunch. Or if MarvMan and I get into a fight, I can't go cry on my sister's shoulder. I'm not even within a feasible driving distance to make a monthly road trip home. I've missed so much and I miss them all the more every day, week, month that I spend having to live away.

Oh, and flying? Out of the question. Both kids are now over 2 and cannot fly in-lap. Therefore, they require their own tickets and seats. Four tickets cost $1,364, and that's before taxes and service fees, and certainly doesn't include food and the hassle of being crammed in a tiny little airplane while everyone and their brother is giving you nasty looks because how dare you use public transportation - which you've paid for - when you have two children! You're ruining the flight for the rest of us! Damn you! Look, airplanes are public transport. I paid for my seat, I paid for my kids' seats. You knew your chances of being on a plane with kids. You don't like it? Get your own private jet. Suck it up and shut up.

MarvMan is amazing, though, and said he would take a specific set of orders when he's up for them. These orders (GSA - it'll only mean something to you if you know what I'm talking about) will send him overseas, without us, for about a year. But when he comes back from being overseas, we can pick our coast and the Navy will move us. At least, that's how the policy stands now - it could change. But I'm praying it doesn't.

See, my husband pretty much rocks. MarvMan has aspirations to become a helicopter pilot, and while he's still pushing for that dream, he's also making plans to try to get us closer to family. And possibly to soothe the neuroses that have overcome me since moving to the west coast.

I'm sorry, but y'all are crazy. I need my east coast. Badly.

Until then, I'll simply fork out $80 for nostalgia's sake to get my Yuengling and Tastykake fix online, crying into my Lager while shoving Butterscotch Krimpets in my face.

Keep Kiernan on the Road - Giveaway

2010-02-16T14:44:00.000-08:00

Giveaway details at the end of this post.

For those of you who have read my blog, you know how much I love Kiernan McMullan and his music. Those of you who are new to my blog, please know that he is a friend and an amazing musician. However, right now, Kiernan needs some help.

Music is the only thing I do all year round and I try really hard to tour and get to play for everyone across the United States and abroad. Currently I am on a US tour and my van transmission has been completely destroyed and needs to be rebuilt. I have had to get a loan to fix it because it is 2 thousand dollars minimum. I don't honestly expect anyone to donate money and really do not mind because I understand times are tough for everyone right now. But I can genuinely say that if anyone out there just won the lottery and feels like donating 25 cents or 5 dollars it is very much appreciated and goes to keeping me on the road so that I can finish off this tour without having to cancel too many shows and towards touring in the future. If you do decide to donate anything it is from the bottom of my heart that I thank you and appreciate it more than you know. Thank you.

Please support independent musicians and go to Kiernan's Merch Site to make a donation and keep him on the road. If there's anyone in the music business who needs and deserves some love from the fans out there, it's Kiernan.

If you don't know who Kiernan is, I'm including a video at the bottom of this post for you to check out. He's truly a gifted soul and needs your help.

Also, in light of this serious situation, I'm hosting the very first giveaway on this blog. What's it all about?

The Prize:
One (1) Perfect People Are Boring t-shirt*
One (1) Kiernan McMullan 11x17 Poster
One (1) Copy of the full length album, "Perfect People Are Boring"
*please specify your t-shirt size in your comment entry

How to Enter:
Comment on this entry and tell me:
your favorite song of Kiernan's
your preferred e-mail address (to contact winners, never spam)
your shirt size
(1 entry)
Bonus Entries:
Make a donation, doesn't matter how big or small - (5 extra entries)
requires a second comment
Post this on your own blog:
requires a second comment on this post with a link to the post - (5 extra entries)

Entries close February 24, with winner to be determined by Random.org.
Winner will be notified by 9 pm PST February 26.

Kiernan on MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube

To make a donation:
Visit Kiernan's Merch site

Don't forget to comment and join in on the giveaway!

***NOTICE:***
KIERNAN HIMSELF IS IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS GIVEAWAY. I, LINDSEY CLEMENTS, AM ASSUMING FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ADMINISTRATION OF THIS GIVEAWAY AND AM USING MY OWN PERSONAL MONEY FOR THE PRIZES.
I AM DOING THIS OUT OF SHEER LOVE OF MUSIC.

I know Victoria's Secret

2010-02-14T19:05:00.000-08:00

And ya know something? It's not pretty. I was very excited yesterday for two reasons. One, it was Valentine's Day. Two, The MarvMan had promised me he would take me to Victoria's Secret to go shopping for new bras. Valentine's Day plus bra shopping at VS generally means - I can squeeze a little more out of this than just bras.

And I get away with it, why? Because MarvMan knows that I am a purebred bargain shopper.*

*My pedigree includes assisting my mother clip coupons every Sunday when we got the big, thick, Sunday paper, exhausting hours spent at the grocery store price comparing various products, and sale hunting at various malls and outlets.

So needless to say, I was pretty thrilled. Gretchen Wilson can sing all she wants about not needing designer tags, but I love me some Victoria's Secret. Now, I'm about to share with you some... uh... personal information. I'm a 36D. Shopping at WalMart? It's an odd size and difficult to find. Shopping at Victoria's Secret? Shouldn't be a problem. Bras are their specialty.

We arrived at the Meadowood Mall in Reno, and went to the VS inside. I zipped straight over to the Pink section. I love everything - the lounge pants, the hoodies, the flip flops, and the t-shirt bras are fabulous. Please note: I snagged a 2 for $32 set of t-shirt bras in a 36D last year.

I'm approached by a woman who purportedly wanted to help me. "Are you finding everything alright? Anything in specific you're looking for?"

"Yes, and yes. I'm wanting to grab some t-shirt bras, if you please."

"Sure, they're right over here! Cup size?"

"D."

"Oh. ... 36?"

"Yes. 36D."

She peruses the rack for a moment. "Um, you know? I don't think they make them in that size," she says, eyeing my rack like it's a monstrosity.

Excuse me? I got the bra I was actually wearing at that precise moment from the Pink section last year. Last. Year. Last year, people! Now, granted, it was at a different store, but the store was also in Reno, just over at the Summit Sierra shopping complex.

How in the world is my bra size that big an issue? And what was with the crass look like I'm some sort of freak show? Whatever. I'll move on. I found some 34Ds and since I've lost some weight, they work just fine.

Cheeky unders. 5 for $25. Well. Decent enough deal and I love the cheeky unders. So... I start perusing the little table they have set up to see what I can find. There were some seriously cute undies! Yay! Check sizes.

XS... S... more S... there's another XS... M, we're getting warm- where the hell are the rest?!

I look down. In order to get to the Larges, I must duck down and rifle through the drawers. In order to get a Large size panty at this particular Victoria's Secret, I must hide. So no one knows - or perhaps so everyone knows - that my ass is considered to be too large.

Obviously, no one has spoken to my husband about this. MarvMan claims it is a great size. Some days I tend to disagree, but on this particular day? I was embarrassed.

And that's the thing, Victoria's Secret. No one should ever have to be embarrassed about their body. No one. That's the beginning of eating disorders, crash dieting, and abusing our bodies into failure.

How dare you.

Everyone deserves to be "So Sexy." Every woman that walks this planet is an amazing, glorious, beautiful, sensual creature, and she doesn't deserve to be treated like a piece of garbage simply because her breasts are larger than a B cup and her butt is of the round, healthy nature.

The icing on the crapcake of the whole ordeal with the attitude flung at me from the woman behind the counter when I attempted to use my coupon I'd gotten in the mail. I hadn't gotten the "free" lacie panties listed on the coupon because there are certain styles and damn near every pair of panties has lace somewhere on it. At previous stores, this would not have been an issue - the saleswoman would simply tell me, "You can get X, Y, or Z" and I would pick. This woman, however, had an issue.

If I had a dollar for every sour face she made or how many times she rolled her eyes, I would have walked out of that store with at least another $10 in my pocket. When she continued to hassle me about the coupon, I gave up.

"You know what? I'm gonna keep my coupon and take it somewhere with better customer service. You just finish ringing me up so I can get out of here."

I understand retail ain't easy. I've worked it before. But working in a store like that? The better you make a woman feel about herself, the more she's gonna buy. And the Victoria's Secret at the Meadowood Mall in Reno, NV just lost all my business.

Umami and High Fructose Corn Syrup

2010-02-03T06:30:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge fan of Food Network. I love the chefs they have on there - except, does anyone else wonder if the Neeleys ever fight? But lately, I've been a little disappointed with the advertising I'm seeing.

First came the commercials talking about high fructose corn syrup. You know the ones. Someone is enjoying fruit juice or a popsicle. "You're going to eat that?" "Why?" "It's got high fructose corn syrup." "And?" "Well, you know what they say about high fructose corn syrup." "That it's natural. And made from corn?"

The truth is, high fructose corn syrup contains factory created free glutamates. The website I cited states that it is in varying amounts. I'm not reactive to much in that second tier of names, as previously discussed, but high fructose corn syrup is a big one for me. Especially when it's the second ingredient in many of the food items I used to purchase. Note "used to." I've since been a label reading maniac, and when you read labels? You'll be surprised what you find is in your food.

As the HFCS ads have decreased in frequency, new ads are taking their place. These ads extol the omg-amazing-ness that is "umami." It's commonly defined as the taste of savoriness, and has apparently been dubbed the "fifth taste sense."

However? Umami is that flavor imparted by MSG. In some cases, many people believe that umami is simply new terminology for the same old toxin. That proposing "umami" as the fifth taste is simply a public relations move.

Regardless of what you call it, it's still an excitatory neurotransmitter. It's still added unnecessarily to our foods and given any one of a number of clever names in order to make you think you're not ingesting toxins. And in many cases, it's still going to cause a reaction; be it migraines, nausea, vomiting, or in some cases, seizure.

Yes, glutamic acid and glutamates are naturally occurring in many foods. Our bodies naturally produce these chemicals. It's when we add to this level in our bodies and exceed what our bodies can handle that we begin to see reactions. We may not be able to avoid the naturally occurring glutamic acids and such, but we can avoid the factory created toxins put into our food.

They're trying to disguise these unhealthy chemicals. They call them "taste enhancers." And you know something? I'll believe what "they" say about high fructose corn syrup much faster than I'll believe what the other "they" says about MSG. I have a right to know what's in my food, and corporations should be obligated to be honest with me about it.

Avoiding unhealthy chemicals in my food shouldn't require the memorization of a list of ingredients I cannot have. It should not turn my shopping trip into a three hour extravaganza of label reading and comparison against the list of all things MSG. But it has, does, and is.

It is what it is. And I know I'm not the only one who has been affected in this way. So the battle for awareness and unbiased research marches on.

Absolute love for Alchera

2010-01-26T06:34:00.000-08:00

This post is a review of sorts, but it requires backstory. Sit with me on this one.

Last year, when I went to Pennsylvania, I brought a gift with me. My Stacey is practically a sister to me, even though we're not related by blood. And I had discovered a strand of love beads by chance one day. It seemed only appropriate to gift her with the love beads. So I prayed over them and took them with me to give to Stace.

Isn't she gorgeous? She never believes me. But she is.

Needless to say, they were a fantastic gift and she informed me that she loved wearing them and they really helped her out spiritually and emotionally. I was positively thrilled. It was like a tangible form of the emotional bond that we have. We'd grown up together and been the closest of friends. We swore we'd both get out of Pennsylvania and whoever left first would come back to get the other. We were going to be famous.

During the concert.

Well, I left Pennsylvania, but it wasn't to follow my dreams of music or fame. I had joined the Navy. I went to Illinois for boot camp, then Pensacola for A-school. And ever since, I have been on the west coast. Getting to go home this past summer to see the LFO concert with her was like a little family reunion. So much fun. And like a good dream, it was over far too soon.

After the concert. Hanging out backstage.

Back. Stage. Backstage!

Fast forward to this year. 2010 has not been kind to either of us, but to Stacey most of all. We've been through some seriously tough stuff together, but this just sort of made everything else seem like small beans. Her brother was killed. There still remains a lot of speculation about the whole situation and what may or may not have happened. I have never felt more upset and frustrated that I couldn't simply hop a flight home to be with her and her family during this especially difficult time.

Then, last week, came an e-mail from Stacey at work. Her love beads had broken. The beads were lost. It was all a mess and she was having a terrible morning. I immediately took to Etsy to find the shop where I'd ordered my mala to see if they would make a set of beads for us.

This time, there would be two. I would do the one thing that I was capable of doing and replace the beads for her as quickly as possible, and I would have a set for myself.

The shop I'd ordered a japa mala from previously was no longer active.

So began the great search for prayer beads. I have never had my dislike for Twilight solidified so much. But I also discovered that Etsy is a place where some of the world's most amazing, talented, and gifted people reside.

I found Katherine, owner of Alchera.

She creates some of the most beautiful rosaries, prayer beads, and malas I have ever seen. I was drawn to the "Red and Green Angel Soldier Rosary" immediately, so I purchased those and proceeded to convo her to see if she could make me a custom pair of prayer beads - one for me, one for Stace.

We talked and she told me about the superstition in regards to prayer beads breaking: That their breaking means you're entering a new stage in your life and to keep the beads would hold yourself in the past.

I was relieved and prayed this meant good things for Stacey. We conversed some more as I gave her the details of mine and Stacey's friendship and sisterly bond, color preferences and symbols we felt drawn to.

The end result of her creativity is... amazing. I'm providing the photo from her shop because I cannot get the lighting in my home to cooperate to truly illustrate how beautiful the prayer beads are. It's incredible. She was quick with her work, but you can feel the care that was taken with these pieces.

I know Stacey is going to love hers. I e-mailed her the photo and she was so very touched.

And I know for sure I'm going to be shopping here again. Katherine provides such amazing customer service and is wonderfully easy to talk to. Aside from ordering from fellow mamas I'm already friendly with, this has been quite possibly the best transaction I've ever had on Etsy.

Katherine, thank you, so very much. You've touched my heart and my soul and I'm so very grateful.

If you'd like to check out Katherine on Etsy, you can find her at Alchera Prayer Shoppe, and she also sells vintage items and supplies at Autumn Fall. Support independent artisans!

MSG attacks

2010-01-25T08:02:00.000-08:00

I'm no poster child for MSG sensitivity - but I'm learning. It's only recently that I discovered this particular facet of my physical health. (See the health mystery tag for more information in regards to my roller coaster health ride.) And that's been a challenging ride.

I have a severe sensitivity to MSG in foods.

There's a lot of myths about whether or not people who are sensitive to MSG simply need more to increase their tolerance, or even if it's all in their heads. I was even told recently, "Well, hardly anyone uses MSG in food anymore anyway." And by a doctor, at that.

The devil's in the details.

The bad food on this plate are the onion rings.

High salt content and God-knows-what in the batter.

Not so. MSGMyth.com has all the hidden names for MSG. But before you go clicking over there, sit with me for a moment. I'll list to you the top tier of names for MSG.

MSG
Monosodium glutamate
Monopotassium glutamate
Glutamate
Glutamic Acid
Vegetable Protein Extract
Gelatine
Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein (HVP)
Hydrolyzed Plant Protein (HPP)
Autolyzed Plant Protein
Sodium Caseinate
Senomyx (wheat extract labeled as artificial flavor)
Calcium Caseinate
Textured Protein
Yeast Extract
Yeast food or nutrient
Autolyzed yeast

And that's just the top tier of additives / ingredients "with MSG containing 78%."

There's a whole other section with over 20 different ingredients and additives containing "factory created free glutamate in varying amounts." And, let me tell you, it's hit or miss with whether or not I'll have a reaction to any of those second tier. I rabidly avoid the top tier, but sometimes cannot avoid the secondary tier. I know after last night's bowl of tomato soup that high fructose corn syrup? Is not my friend.

What does an MSG attack look like? It varies from person to person. Just like allergic reactions can vary from hives to anaphylaxis. But for me?

It starts with increased pulse.

Then I start to feel shaky.

My head begins to hurt, and if I've had enough MSG-containing foods ingested, I cannot stop the migraine.

I get tingly all over. Short of breath.

It's usually around this time that I'll have a vertigo attack associated with my Meniere's Syndrome. When they occur during an MSG attack, the vertigo is that much worse than normal.

And then I feel nauseous and weak. Occasionally I'll vomit. Most of the time, I curl up on the couch and try to sleep it off. If the migraine has hit, I take my prescription emergency migraine medication and let that help me sleep.

I'm not looking for pity. I am looking for commiseration. For others who experience and suffer from this sensitivity / allergy / intolerance. If you're experiencing various health problems - chronic headaches and other issues associated with food allergies and sensitivities - try an elimination diet to narrow down what it is that your body is telling you it can't handle.

I am looking for those who are pushing for more explicit labeling. We want truth in what we're ingesting. Many of these ingredients are labeled as "artificial flavorings" or "artificial colorings." They don't tell you what, exactly, they've done to add those artificial flavorings and colors. And many times? Those ingredients are harmful to our health.

So how do I cope?

I don't eat fast food. I'm still experimenting with store bought foods, but we're getting there. The more I make at home, the more control I have over what goes into my body.

My love for you is fried

2010-01-24T16:29:00.000-08:00

Today, I bring you yet another piece of my childhood in the form of something edible. Something edible that has been fried. And sprinkled with the love of powdered sugar.

I present you with funnel cakes. Positively delicious. I used Alton Brown's funnel cake recipe, which I'll transcribe for you here. (Link for source credit.)

1 C Water
6 Tbsp butter
1 Tbsp sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1 C flour
1 C eggs (appx 4 eggs + 2 whites)
Vegetable oil for frying
Powdered sugar for topping.

Boil water, butter, sugar, and salt together in a saucepan. Add flour and work it in until it is all incorporated and dough forms a ball. Transfer mixture to the bowl of a standing mixer and let cool for 3 to 4 minutes. With mixer lowest speed, add eggs, 1 at a time, making sure the first egg is completely incorporated before continuing. Once all eggs have been added and mixture is smooth, put dough in a piping bag fitted with a number 12 tip. Heat about 1 1/2 inches of oil in a heavy pan. Pipe dough into oil, making a free-form lattice pattern; cook until browned, flipping once. Remove cake from oil, drain on paper towels, and top with powdered sugar. Continue until all of the batter is used.

This was one of the easiest recipes ever - aside from the recipe on how to boil water. And delicious. It makes up about 6 funnel cakes, depending on how generous you are about batter and sizing.

There's also apparently some debate about whether or not these are traditional funnel cakes - foodies, pfft. They're yummy, they're fried, and dusted with sugar. Does it matter?

If you can't go to the fair, have the fair at your house!

The problem with parenting

2010-01-22T05:36:00.000-08:00

Parenting is a tough job. Really tough. And especially for women. You carried this small life inside you for approximately nine months, giving it nourishment from your own body and keeping it safe - many times much to your discomfort. Then you've got to go through the pain and triumphs of labor. Pushing an approximately 7-8 pound baby out through an orifice that - at the time - really doesn't feel as though it was made for that kind of thing.

But it doesn't end after pregnancy and labor and delivery. It continues. Because now you've got to raise him. And feed her. Love her. Protect him. Change his diapers. You see where I'm going with this. Because I haven't even touched the parts about teaching your child or instilling moral values. I haven't gotten that far.

Because society won't let me. Because I can't even get past all the yammering and opinion shoving being done about the little things in infancy and toddlerhood. It's gone beyond a sharing of information and stretched into the territory of angry dictation.

See? Two really cute kids. I'm a lucky mama.

A wonderful friend of mine, Michelle, posted an article from her local area about, "Can co-sleeping be done safely?" The article is obviously biased - well, it's in the opinion section, what were we expecting? But it's biased in such a way that really upsets me. You don't have to read it, because the main gist is that co-sleeping is dangerous and should not be done.

Since when have we lost so much faith in our natural instincts as parents that we look to governmental institutions to tell us how to parent? No, they're not telling us, mamas. They're trying to frighten us and bully us into parenting in the way they see fit. And the truth is? We're letting them.

The fact of the matter is, for the seemingly well-intended author of the article, co-sleeping can be done safely. I have two children to prove it. But, you do need to be smart about it.

Don't sleep with your child if you're drunk or on heavy prescription medication. (DUH.)
Don't keep an excessive amount of pillows on the bed. - In fact, what I did was sleep near the edge of the bed and I simply piled my extra pillows on the floor next to the bed. In case of falls. But guess what? There were no falls.
If you're worried, pull the crib right up alongside your bed so it's like a sidecar. (If you need illustrations, just Google co-sleeping sidecar and you'll find some amazing tutorials)

I could go on, but a lot of the other tips I can think of are common sense. The fact of the matter remains - we all have naturally inborn parenting instincts. But I fear we've spent far too much time listening to the government and allowing foreign parties who don't know our situations and don't know our families dictate how we parent our children.

I am a breastfeeding advocate, someone who has reaped the benefits of co-sleeping. I advocate (and am experimenting and constantly struggling with) gentle discipline. We homeschool. We delay vaccinations. We used cloth diapers. I was able to breastfeed my youngest until she was 15 months old. We use herbal remedies and stay away from the doctor as much as possible.

You don't have to agree with me on co-sleeping. You don't have to agree with me on anything I just said. It wasn't me tooting my own horn. It was me telling you - this is the beauty of living in America. I can choose how I want to parent and raise my children.

Living in America is supposed to mean that I have the freedom to choose. You don't have to agree, but we can support each other's right to choose to follow our parenting instincts. It's been said that it takes a village to raise a child - how can a child be raised properly in a village where mothers are pitting themselves against other mothers in battles over how to raise these children? As mothers, we should be able to band together to provide love and support for each other through these sometimes trying times. We should support each other. Yet we can't seem to find it within ourselves to do even that.

I have my way of raising my children. You have yours. And I support your right as a parent to raise your children in the best manner you see fit, even if it's the complete opposite of mine.

I fear for the future, knowing that there are so many parents out there who will blindly listen to an outside party who knows nothing other than flat statistics with no depth behind them. Because far too many parents will read that article and agree without doing any research. For too long we have been trained by society to shut off our brains and roll along with the status quo. How much longer before we wake up?

Morning routines

2010-01-19T06:32:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's something ingrained into me from boot camp years back. Every morning at my house pretty much starts off the same.

I get up.
Make coffee.
Do something with the dishes - it depends. Some mornings the dishwasher needs to be reloaded, others it simply needs to be unloaded.
Check the status of the laundry and do something about that.
Pour coffee.
Check e-mail and be readily available to help MarvMan find something he all of a sudden can't find.

It's an every morning kind of thing. Some mornings it goes according to plan. Others, the steps get mixed up or MarvMan lets me sleep while he gets ready. Lately, I've been adding yoga or some other form of workout to the routine. After the coffee. (I eat breakfast when the kids do.) I need that caffeinated burst in order to even consider the option of jumping around and/or folding myself into awkward positions.

I wonder if it ties in to a fear of the unknown.

Schedules and routines give us structure and a sense of balance and control. Granted, most of the things that I do in the morning need to be done, and it's easier to do them early in the morning while the kids are still sleeping. But there is definitely that sense of having control over at least the beginning of the day that seems to make things feel better.

Because I certainly don't want to be awake. I'm not at my best. So having the routine in place allows me to go on autopilot and simply go through the checklist.

I'm not saying that routines and schedules are bad - not in the least. But I think it's interesting how they work and how they can sometimes fall into place without us even noticing it.

Do you have a routine or schedule? What is it and how did you come to start using it?

Well, if that doesn't slam you in the face

2010-01-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

I just went around to various networking sites and such in order to update my profiles. Somehow in the midst of the month of December and the celebrations around the 4th, I realized that I'd forgotten to update everyone on a very important fact.

I'm no longer 24.

I'm 25.

Which is of obviously grave importance. It's two and one half decades. A quarter of a century. And somehow, a month (and a week) after achieving this obviously very awesome age, it's just now hitting me.

It's something to do with my birthday being tucked right in the middle of the holiday season. There's so much going on already post-Thanksgiving that it's difficult for folks to get excited about yet another celebration requiring the giving of a gift. (Telling people you accept cash is apparently considered rude.)

And, of course, because we don't make that much money, my birthday present is usually lumped in with my Christmas present. Shortly following Christmas is, of course, the New Year. During all this time, people are painstakingly buying gifts for family members who will only turn around and return those gifts for store credit or hold up the entire customer service line by demanding cash, only to find that you really can't fight company policy.*

*Run. On. Sentence. And I haven't returned gifts. I've watched those lines, though. Yikes, people. Yikes.

So I think it stands to reason that with all that, coupled with the minor interwebz sabbatical I had been taking, I didn't necessarily get that, "Holy shit, I'm 25!" moment until now.

It's weird. There are moments where I feel as though I've seen it all. The world could hold nothing else that could possibly shock me. And then that's usually followed up with, "But I'm only 25!"

Which has led me to a conclusion.

Age ain't nothing but a number. You're only as old as the moment you're currently in is making you feeling. Back away from the cassette player. Don't mark your children's height on the walls. Put on a sparkly unitard and go running through the neighborhood. You'll forever feel like you're 8.

A new year and I'm a month behind

2010-01-12T20:44:00.000-08:00

This picture really has nothing to do with the content of the post.

More the content of the author.

It's been a long while, friends. Have to kind of wonder how many are still lurking around here, checking my posts.

2010 has started off with a list of trials and tribulations. And much as I want to utilize this blog to share them with you, I've already BlackBerry messaged my thumbs off about them and they're past. Suffice to say, things opened up like a very old, very bad country song. And they're only slowly getting better.

I told MarvMan we needed to eat pork and sauerkraut New Year's Day to ensure a good new year. But does he listen? Noooooo. Something about sauerkraut smelling nasty. Whatev. You ruined our year. Jerkface. *

(* I don't really mean that. Mostly.)

So why the time off? I'm sure if you follow me on Twitter (you do still do that, don't you?) you'll notice that awhile back, I said I was going off to sleep and haven't been back since.

One long hibernation period.

I went through a period where I seriously considered monetizing this blog. The economy being the way it is, it seemed like a good way to go. I spent so much time on the computer between various freelancing jobs and the blog, why not actually make some money? (They don't call it freelancing for nothing.) To be honest, I'd considered it before, even signed up for some of those post our pitch or whatever websites. But this time, if I was going to do it, I was going to be serious about it and go in headlong.

But you wanna know something? The thought of that made me dread coming to blog. I enjoy blogging. I enjoy sharing with my readers and whoever else may stumble upon my little corner of the web. It's therapeutic for me and makes me laugh at the things that would otherwise have me crying in a corner slamming my head against a wall and begging for my mommy.

And for as much as I would love to make money off it, I want it to be because people like the way I write and what I write about. Not because I did them a favor.

If I write a blog about something I love, I want it to be because I went out on my own and tried it. Not because I was asked to. I want you to know that it was worth it enough that I spent my own money on that. And I'm blessed enough to be in a position to where I can do it. Thus far, that's what I've done. If I love something enough, you know about it.

And none of this is anything against the mamas that do post for products or cash or whatever. More power to them for doing that. I, personally, can't do that to my blog. I've been struggling for over a year now to find my voice and find my comfortable spot in blogging. To try to uproot that - when it's still very much a work in progress - and turn my blog into advertisements and paid/sponsored posts would go against the grain of what I've been working toward.

You know, whatever that may be.

So. You'll be seeing me more often again. And I'm going to focus more often on commenting on those who are still subscribed. I want to know what you're thinking, and I want to participate more in the community aspect that makes blogging so awesome.

But it's still just gonna be me. Bear with us, folks, cause we're experiencing some turbulence. ;)

Blessings. ♥

Lost in translation

2009-12-05T22:52:00.000-08:00

There's something about the way kids talk - especially when they're just learning how - that leaves so much open to interpretation. And just the tiniest bit of mush mouth can throw an entire discussion way off track.

I was enjoying my evening in the office, just relaxing, having a glass of cheap wine. (And if you're a friend of mine on Facebook, you'll know I like me some cheap wine. Although, I can't have all that much anymore. But that's different. Anyway...) Back to the cheap wine.

Because I thought the kids were asleep.

Until this comes running into my office.

She's cute, right? Cute until she's hollering about a duck in the window. You heard me. A duck. In the window. Duck. Window. You get it.

BreMonster: Maaaaaaama! Is duck! In window!

Me: What?

Bre: Duck in window!

Me: There's a duck in your window?

She begins looking at me like I'm a complete idiot.

Bre: Truck. In. Willow.

Me (blinking in confusion): Truck in willow?

Bre (frustrated): Buck. In. Pillow.

At this point, she's frustrated and I'm way confused. Buck in her pillow? Are we talking a male deer? If so, can we make jerky? Or is her pillow now producing one dollar bills? If so, we need to make sure they're real.

Me: There's a buck in your pillow.

Bre: Buck.

Me: Buck. In your pillow.

And then came the voice of reason, the four year old, A-Girl, yells from her room like she's sick of hearing the whole thing:

MOM! It's a BUG. On her PILLOW!

Oh. I'll get this no problem.

Or, if it's to big, I'll get MarvMan.

So I go rushing off to get this bug. On the pillow. Not a duck in a window, a truck in a willow, or a buck in a pillow. But a bug. On a pillow.

I hate bugs.

I get in there, ready to put on the brave face, because I don't think I should transfer my irrational fears onto my daughters, only to be sorely disappointed. And hugely relieved. It wasn't, in fact, a bug.

It was a piece of fuzz.

I think we need to work on enunciation in this household.

Another year, and I'm grateful

2009-12-04T22:58:00.000-08:00

So this is what 25 looks like.

Well, okay, probably more like this.

But that (the first one) was my drink at dinner tonight.

I'm grateful for this past year in my life. There have been a lot of trials and tough situations. Things that I, at times, wasn't sure I'd be able to make it through. Health mysteries, marital difficulties, times I simply wanted to slam my head into a wall and cry, "I quit!" But I have overcome and I am here. I'm a better person, overall, even though I do still need some work. Everyone needs work.

Mine is in my belly, hips, and thighs.

Alright, fine, in some more deeper, more emotional areas as well. But I'm getting there. Work with me, here.

I am trying to write more. Blogging every day should (hopefully) help with that. I'd love to have a full year of posts. Thank God for pictures on particularly boring days. I'd like to incorporate more fictional postings, perhaps some writing challenges.

And maybe even a vlog or two.

As I get older, things change. I hope you like what you see.

Thursday Haiku

2009-12-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

late night study fest

words swirling in the brainpan

i love you, coffee

The long awaited name.

2009-12-02T20:22:00.001-08:00

It's funny. All the searching for answers in this lovely little health mystery of mine, and I finally have a name for it.

Meniere's Syndrome.

There it is. It's there. Out there and sort of hanging.

A lot of the possibilities and options were discussed yesterday at the ENT. Some of it hit, some of it slipped by. The whole "losing your hearing" bit ran me over and things after it are a bit fuzzy. I wonder if they tell you the worst up front so you can be pleasantly surprised when it (hopefully) doesn't happen.

I do know that right now I'm on Prednisone for 6 days (4 since I took yesterday and today's doses), and a water pill for 3 months. I'm not really sure what affect these will have in the grand scheme of things, but we'll see how everything goes. The Prednisone is giving me some nasty mood swings. I found myself angry tonight for seemingly no reason whatsoever. And it felt like a drunk sort of angry, mixed with exhaustion. Now I'm sort of drained, but awake. Which is why I'm here.

Van Gogh apparently might have had Meneiere's, according to Wikipedia. It's rumored that the ringing in his ear was what made him cut it off. I have to admit that there are days when I've thought that would be a brilliant idea.

Yesterday, all I wanted to do was talk about it. The diagnosis, what was going on, what was happening. I was so overwhelmed that I needed to talk. I needed somewhere to go with it. Someone to give me feedback that wasn't just "Well, go do this" or "Well, go do that" or "That's silly."

I felt full to bursting of different energies because of this - I was ready for it, but I wasn't. I had been researching and when my primary care provider mentioned it, I thought, okay, well, I'll look it up. But the full effect of finally being slapped with a label was so overwhelming in so many different directions, I couldn't stop the word vomit if I tried. Some were understanding. MarvMan is so worried about the diagnosis. I spent most of the night in my office, just sort of staring off, crocheting, reading, mindlessly playing Bejeweled. Anything to stave off the mental "ZOMGZ" explosion.

The road gets difficult from here. But it's going to be worth it knowing I have a name for this traveling companion.

A Photo

2009-12-01T21:33:00.000-08:00

Because I've been so busy, I really don't even have the energy to type much longer.

Small hands at the keyboard.

Believe it or not, that's my BreMonster's hands, and A-Girl snapped the photo.

Excuses, excuses, excuses

2009-11-30T06:19:00.000-08:00

I realize that I don't think I ever got around to explaining why I dropped out of NaNoWriMo '09. In fact, after my last post, I haven't really blogged at all.

This photo has practically nothing to do with the post.

I just wanted to show off my mad crochet skills.

Well. This is just to tell you that I promise I'll get to it.

It's just that...

My dog died. (Actually, we are down to only one dog now, but that wasn't necessarily a sad occasion. Again, more in another post.)

My.... kids ate my homework?

Let's just say that I will make it up to you via commentary love on the blogs that I follow today. And I'll be posting a bit of a video.

Monday Question of the Day:

What do you think about video blogging or "vlogging"? As a mother/artisan/woman/student/insert your favorite title here, what would you want most out of a vlog?

Or... do you hate vlogs?

Have a fantastic Monday, and I hope it's a refreshing start to your week!

Love letters from a typewriter

2009-11-23T14:00:00.000-08:00

There's something about pieces of the past that are so inspiring. Since making the decision to quit NaNoWriMo '09, I've felt so much better. (More on that in another post.) Lighter, almost. As though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

But up until this point, I've been feeling horribly uninspired, so drawn down into the muck and mire of the hatred that I had for everything I even thought about plotting for the manuscript that was supposed to be one that I could work with and submit for publishing.

I'm blessed enough that I can do that and not worry about paying bills. [Thank you, MarvMan.]

But this little beauty of mine that I scored on eBay for a whopping $30? Has got me feeling pretty darn creative.

What inspires your creative muses?

Give It Away Now

2009-11-18T15:11:00.000-08:00

I've been incredibly swamped with college and the house and NaNoWriMo this month, so please pardon my lack of presence around here. I had planned on resuming the regular blog schedule December 1, but I had a moment tonight that I couldn't help but share.

Awhile back, I read Anthony Kiedis's memoir "Scar Tissue." It was a compelling read, one that I'm actually tempted to pick up again. There was a mention in his memoir about how he had admired a leather jacket belonging to Nina Hagen, and she gave it to him. Just like that. No strings attached, nothing.

She explained that giving things away creates positive energy. Kiedis went on to write the song Give It Away. Explained the song in his memoir. I read the memoir, and the philosophy behind it stuck with me.

Tonight I was in a bad mood. I can't explain why or how or what - this nasty funk descended upon my mood and tore it all sorts of sideways, backward, and upside down. I wanted to go to Sonic - for half price drinks - and we needed bread. So, bad mood and all, out into town we went.

As I pulled up to the window in the Sonic drive-thru, I was just setting my phone aside from texting and the girl at the window asked me if that was the Blackberry Storm. I replied that yes, it was, in fact, the Storm.

We chatted for a few about it, as she has one as well. She complimented me on my pretty pink cover and asked where I'd gotten it. I explained it was what we were given when I said yes to a pink cover when we placed the order on the phone. She looked a little crestfallen at that, and I noticed she had a white cover. After a moment of contemplation, I found myself asking her:

Do you want it?

Really simple, straight forward. And she was taken aback. Asked me about five or six times if I was serious before I slipped the cover off and handed it to her.

"Here! I really am serious!"

"Well, here, have mine then. Are you - wow, are you sure? This is so funny! You're so funny!"

It's kind of sad that we live in a society these days where if you're given something, you're constantly looking for the strings or the pitfalls or "What's wrong with it?" We've fallen away from giving each other things out of pure desire to make someone else happy.

But the look on her face, the happiness and the gratitude? Totally worth it. I didn't know her at all, but making her happy made me happy.

Yes, it was a complete stranger.

Yes, it was just a phone cover.

And yeah, she made it into a trade.

But when you give things away without expecting anything in return? The rewards are unexpectedly amazing.

Reeling with the feeling, don't stop - continue.

-RHCP-

It's a caffeine kind of day

2009-11-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

I know I slept well last night. The congestion I've been fighting has cleared up. The girls went to bed without any fuss whatsoever. And yet here I sit, ruminating over what I believe is my third cup of coffee this morning.

It could have something to do with the massive word count deficit that I have to surmount for NaNoWriMo. As well as all the work that needs to be done for my philosophy of human ethics class before it ends in a week and a half. I'm desperately scrambling to get ahead in some area so as to provide myself a buffer. Since it doesn't seem to be happening with NaNo, I'm trying to make it happen with college.

And what is the fuel for this scramble to get ahead? Coffee. So I started looking up coffee quotes. While there were plenty of good ones, the following stood out as the best one of them all:

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures:
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I will fear no Equal™:
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks:
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the House of Mochas forever.
~Author Unknown

It's too bad the author's unknown. I would love to hug them. And give them some coffee.

Image cred

Poem cred

Who doesn't love a man in uniform?

2009-11-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

Our weekend was positively full. Any of my friends on Facebook can tell you that Friday was a screwy day for me. I mixed up what day it was - I thought it was Saturday, but was still operating on a Friday schedule. Goes to show how mixed up things can get when MarvMan has a day off. Regardless of the day off, we had to get snazzed up.

That afternoon, we had a rededication to attend. All summer long, MarvMan and a small crew of others from a few commands around the base were painting and fixing up the aircraft on display at Air Power Park here on NAS Fallon. The park is a testament to the long standing tradition and might of Naval aviation. It's truly a beautiful sight to see, especially if you're an aircraft aficionado.

I was armed with a camera. My BlackBerry Storm, but a camera nonetheless.

There were men in uniform to be photographed. Of course I had my camera.

MarvMan painted the girls' names on one of the aircraft because they'd gone out to the park a few times with him over the summer to help wash the jets. The guys on the crew love the girls - and they think the world of all those guys.

I am such a proud wife and mama - even when the going gets tough. GO NAVY!

Talking about MSG

2009-10-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

Today I'm posting over on Feed Me Right about my latest health adventures and the startling connection I made between my preliminary diagnosis - Meniere's Disease - and an MSG sensitivity.

Click here to head on over and show some love!

Everybody's Got Swine Flu

2009-10-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

There's nothing better than starting off your Monday with a controversial post. Consider this your warning - the following blog post may contain information and opinions that some may consider controversial or offensive.

Oh, yeah, we're going to talk about swine flu.

The kids didn't protest when Rod Stewart came on the Today Show this morning, so I was finally able to get my one-monthly dose of real world news. Unfortunately, the news was overshadowed by all these reports about the ebil swine flu! One segment in particular - On Call with Dr. Nancy - featured an excessive amount of fear mongering in regards to the swine flu and the vaccine that's being rolled out.

"There's nothing you can do to stop it!! Not without the vaccine!" Oh, that's right. The rushed-to-market vaccination that has had no real testing and is overloaded with other chemicals and garbage along with the supposedly helpful ingredients that "prevent" swine flu. Have you ever looked up the adverse vaccine reaction reports? The numbers are surprisingly high and the victims and parents of victims are saddeningly real. Some of them are close friends of mine. Their bravery, honesty, and continuing awareness advocacy inspires me and reaffirms my position on vaccines.

Bonus detail? The DHHS Secretary is granting full immunity to the vaccine makers against any side effects or adverse reactions recipients may suffer. (Source) Translation? If you or a loved one receives the swine flu vaccine and suffers any serious side effects or even dies in connection with receiving the vaccine? You can't sue. You get no remuneration. You. Can't. Do. Anything.

When flu season rolls around? MarvMan gets his shot - he has to, he's military. He gets incredibly sick. Me? I have yet to be sick. The last time I got the flu was the last time I received the flu shot. MarvMan battled another bout of flu recently - we think it may have been swine, but have no testing to confirm - and it took him four days. My girls have never been vaccinated. They caught the same thing from him and were down for a day at most.

Me? I have yet to get it.

I practice my own brand of natural living. I take Vitamin C. I drink Echinacea tea. I give my kids Vitamin C and they drink their own Echinacea. I am researching herbal immune boosters and am taking the recommendations of friends to start incorporating elderberry into our diet in order to keep us healthy. While I am not opposed to going to the doctor when the situation warrants it, the methods to properly take care of ourselves are already here and they require no pharmaceutical methods and are exponentially less expensive.

So based on education and practical experience? I'm not getting the swine flu vaccination, and neither are my children.

(image credit: found on Coach Peter Rouse blog)

And for those of you who found this posting to be offensive? Here, I'll make it up to you with this video:

Quick! Where's Lin?

2009-10-20T20:03:00.000-07:00

I've been cheating on my blog. With others. Shhhh, don't tell her!

Where've I been?

Blissfully Domestic

Feed Me Right

Lin: A Journey

Been a busy little girl! Go check out both Blissfully Domestic and Feed Me Right. FMR is still in the baby stages, so be patient, but we've got a lot of great plans.

More personal blogs to come again starting tomorrow!!

NaNoWriMo is almost here!

2009-10-14T14:43:00.001-07:00

Oh, my gosh, NaNoWriMo is coming up so quickly. I never realized just how fast this would sneak up on me. One moment, it's the beginning of October and I'm starting to get giddy with anticipation.

Now? It's nearing the end of October. There's approximately 8 days left until this bad boy kicks off and I am in a tizzy. A tizzy of epic proportions.

What's NaNoWriMo, you ask? Oh, it's just a writing challenge. A month long writing challenge. How much do you have to write?

50,000 words. It's about the length of a novella.

Which averages out to about 2000 words a day.

I say 2000 because it eventually creates a buffer I will inevitably need when the house comes crashing down around my ears for the simple reason that I focused on something other than the family for a little bit.

Easy? When you've got two kids, two dogs and a household to run? Not in the least. But I'm getting there. You see, I acquired a secret weapon to help with this year's NaNo efforts.

I'm going oldschool, baby.

So much to do, so little time

2009-10-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

Oh, my goodness. Things have been absolutely insane around here. I'm actually taking some time to update around here on a day when the girls are sick. They're taking their naps and I'm trying to watch Dog Whisperer on NatGeo while the linens are washing.

ENG125 is finally over. It really wasn't all that bad until the TA turned out to be supremely frustrating to work with. It's apparently a bit difficult to attend college online these days while using a Mac. Regardless, I'm doing it. Why? Because I'm not buying a Microsuck machine just to get through college. So head down and boring through it we go.

Homeschooling has been a bit scattered. We're doing a combination of workbooks (we've been scoring some really good ones from the Dollar Tree) and a Montessori curriculum I purchased. It's been going well. A-Girl is on a Kindergarten level for pretty much everything, and she's already nudging into 1st grade level territory, which is as thrilling as it is a reminder that she's growing up way too fast.

Meanwhile, MarvMan got himself back into the swing of college, which means both of us are attending and of course it's making things a little hectic. As is keeping up with the house.

I swear I'll be updating more, because there's so much to talk about. But in the meantime, you can always check me out over on Blissfully Domestic, as I'm now contributing there as well!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

Why I'm against Breed Specific Legislation.

Pardon my absences

2009-10-02T11:18:00.001-07:00

(Image source. I really just liked this picture. I don't know that it has anything to do with the following post except that I've been practically surviving on coffee.)

Things have been absolutely crazy around here. I've been feeling so overwhelmed with college coursework, it's all I can do to keep my days of the week straight. Some of it has been procrastination due to housework piling up all around me.

How in the world does everything seem to pile up and then come crashing down all at once? There was a time when I thought I was on top of everything! Now? Not so much.

I did find some comfort throughout it all. Despite the house falling apart and despite my struggles to keep everything straight when it comes to school, I got the best e-mail this morning:

On behalf of the faculty and staff at Ashford University, congratulations on being named to the Dean's list for summer 2009.

I nearly fell over out of my chair and actually had a squeal fest worthy of sonic alert levels in the middle of my living room. I am beyond thrilled.

Sometimes you get that little nudge. That one small thing that reminds you - in the end? It's all worth it.

Morning Colors

2009-09-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

Every day in the military starts at 0800 with the raising of the flag and the playing of the National Anthem. It's called morning colors. And it is a ritual I'm proud to say I've been a part of (as well as evening colors), and one that I still get to see - or at least hear - on a daily basis.

While I was active duty and working at the squadron, most mornings I would be out on the flight line during colors. Or in the smoke pit. It really depended on what kind of day it had been and what maintenance meeting had been like. We'd all pop to and face the music or the flag, if we could see it. And it always seemed like the day never officially started until colors had played.

It may sound cheesy and more than a little cliche, but there was always a bit more of a bounce in your step once colors had played and you knew the day was off and rolling. For us at the squadron, it meant that the day was at least two hours old, which meant only four or five more hours until lunch.

Now that I'm a spouse and stay at home with my children, I've found that colors is still very much a part of my day. I have a bit more flexibility with my schedule - you know, since I'm the one who makes it - but the day never really starts until 0800.

It's usually when I start A-Girl with her schooling. The workbooks come out, as do the pencils and crayons, and we begin writing and reading. (And just a smidge of arithmetic, though I'm proud to say she's been doing a fantastic job with it.) BreMonster grabs the blocks and starts configuring some new architectural scheme that, recently, comes out as either a cake or a castle. When A-Girl wants a break from writing, she assists and makes fortresses and bridges. I think she's going to be a tactical thinker.

They may be up at 0700, but even the girls know - the day doesn't start until 0800.

Today, at 0800, on a base somewhere near you, on bases all around the globe, the American flag was raised and honored by members of the military. Take a moment to thank a soldier. If you're on Twitter, give a shoutout every Monday with the hashtag #militarymon. Your support never goes unnoticed and never goes unappreciated.

Moment of WOAH

2009-09-27T23:32:00.000-07:00

I have been slacking lately. Slacking on so much, I couldn't even begin to tabulate a list of all the things I've been putting off. It's a habit that my parents - bless their hearts - tried to break me of while I was growing up. But it's a habit that stuck with me and I haven't been able to get rid of.

Though if you really want a list, I could attempt to put one together for you. I mean, after all, it's these things that I've been slacking on that have me up at 11:30 pm. When I went to bed at 10:30. I tossed and turned for a half hour, decided I would be nice and get out of bed for a bit so MarvMan could fall asleep without me laying there for two minutes, roll over. Lay there. Roll twenty degrees to the left. Nope, still not it. Little to the right...

Okay, it wasn't out of niceness. It was because the fact that my kitchen was a MESS. We're talking Level 2 biohazard stuff. And I swear I cleaned it this morning.

Never mind the eight page draft of my essay for ENG125 that is due tomorrow. By midnight. Eight pages. Eight. Freaking. Pages. Sometimes I seriously question whether it was a good idea to start college again or not. The prospect of having my degree in 2012 and doing something productive with it is not so attractive late at night when I'm trying to add fluff to a paper that's due in two hours.

Or the rest of the house that needs to be cleaned out and organized. I was so thrilled when MarvMan moved the girls in to share a room together and designated the extra bedroom as an office for me. An office? For me? You take me seriously! You really do! And then came the mess... Because not all of BreMonster's things are moved out of the closet. It's on the list of "to be tackled at some point."

I got into this swing of decluttering and cleaning out the closets and reorganizing, pitching what's broken, setting aside those things that are good enough to be donated. And then the novelty wore off. Or just the weekend hit and I was plum tuckered out, I can't be too sure.

But there you have it. And here I am. At 11:30 at night. Having just cleaned the kitchen and straightened the living room. Working up my to do list for tomorrow. Though in a half hour it'll be today and I can say for eight hours from now.

I swear I will conquer this habit of letting things pile up. Not all of it is laziness or procrastination, though. A lot of it is forgetfulness. I'll start one project, get to a stopping point, move on to another project, and never come back to the original project I started out on, having completely forgotten about it all together. My short term memory is positively heinous.

Maybe I should buy stock in Post-Its.

For now, I'm going to hope the Tylenol PM I took for my back is going to kick in soon and that I'll be able to go to sleep sometime in the next hour or so. The alarm is set for 5:30, and the snooze button is sounding more and more attractive by the second.

The strangest cold remedy I've ever tried

2009-09-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

The past day or so I've been having some severe issues with congestion. All up in my nose, blocking my sinuses and draining all at the same time, so I get that funny tickle in the back of my throat. It's probably making me snore for the first time in my life (no, please don't ask MarvMan if I snore at all), and it's definitely been making it unpleasant to breathe through my nose.

So all day yesterday it was Star Wars reenactment day in my house. You know, just so it didn't seem odd that I was breathing through my mouth and all. Darth Mama.

But after even a steam with some Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV)*, a steaming hot shower, and a neti rinse**, my congestion was still giving me issues, I had to find something. Anything.

I'm a fan of homeopathic remedies. So I went to Earth Clinic and started nosing around. It was then that I came across Jean's Spicy Tomato Tea. This, friends, is the weirdest thing you'll ever make. But I swear to you it works.

TOMATO TEA RECIPE
2 cups V8 Juice
2-3 cloves Garlic crushed (use more if you can)
2 T Lemon Juice
Hot Sauce (the more the better, so as much as you can handle)
Mix and heat in a pan or in the microwave. Sip slowly and re-warm as needed to get the full effects of the fumes. Let it sit in the back of your throat to bathe it. Suck the fumes through your sinuses and also down into your lungs. Its all natural and healthy, so drink as much of it as you want or need until you are SURE the infection is gone. This is past the time when you "feel better."

Don't get me wrong. I'm all behind you on the, "Seriously?" line of thinking. I thought it was the weirdest thing ever. I gave MarvMan the list of stuff I needed for it and he thought I wanted to make Bloody Mary's, and was going to rely on the power of alcohol to cure my cold. (Which also seemed like an attractive option at the time, too.)

I steamed my face in there after it came out of the microwave. And then I sipped on it. My left sinus opened up. I cried in joy. Or maybe it was from the excess hot sauce. I'm really not sure. But it was beautiful.

I put the rest in the fridgie and have it heating on the stove right now. It's just warming, the fumes circulating through the kitchen and living room, and already my right sinus has opened. Oh. My. Gawd. I can breathe. Ahhhhhh.

There's still some residual snot, but I'm sticking with this tomato tea. Thank you, Jean, for your wacky combination of ingredients. I may just make a Bloody Mary this weekend and toast you, you brilliant woman.

*ACV is a fabulous remedy for a lot of stuff. Go Google it. Steaming with it involves warming it up and shoving your face in the mug or holding your face over the steam from the saucepan on the stove - please use common sense and be careful.

**My neti pot is a lifesaver when I have sinus issues. Also Google worthy. I scored mine at a natural market in Rapid City, SD, when we were there visiting MarvMan's family.

Vacation time over!

2009-09-21T08:51:00.001-07:00

It's time to get back into the swing of things. So bear with me while I do. There has been so much to catch up on, I've been a little overwhelmed. Guess it's a good thing I've got my working partner here with me this morning, right?

Too bad she can't help me when it comes to writing up my essay for ENG125 today. But she sure makes it a lot less frustrating. Except for when she takes over the keyboard. And turns on caps lock. Or closes out my paper without saving the changes.

She's not the best of partners for this kind of thing, now that I think about it.

So I'll be busy catching up on Twitter, things around here, school work, and various other projects and adventures around the house. Like, you know... cleaning the house. Tomorrow I'll hopefully be back in the regular swing of things.

I want to take some time to say thank you for all the lovely comments on my blog while I've been vacationing. I loved logging in to my e-mail and seeing that I had new comments. Today will be dedicated to returning the favor, so if I'm following you, I'll be a-visiting!

For those reading this, please take some time to check out the blogs I'm following over in the side bar! They're wonderful writers and I adore them all!

I heart merch.

2009-09-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

I do. I honestly do. I love merch from concerts I've been to that proudly display who I love - musically speaking. Which is why I'm super excited to tell you about something I've been waiting for. For, like, ever. Okay, maybe not forever, but definitely for a good long time.

Remember when I told you about my trip to PA?

And going to see LFO?

And how I also got to see and hang out with Kiernan McMullan?

You know, where Kiernan put a sticker on my hand? Cause I love stickers?

Well, guess what? Kiernan's got a merch store! Finally!

You guys have no idea how thrilled I am. I'm ordering myself a shirt this afternoon. Please, please, please: go check him out and go buy a CD. Because Kiernan is not only an amazingly talented musician, he's a really kick ass kind of guy. And he is so deserving of your love.

In fact - you should thank me for introducing you two. Kiernan, this is my readership. Lovely readership? This is Kiernan. Enjoy each other. Get to know each other. It's fabulous.

Go to:

http://www.kiernanmcmullanmerch.com for more.

You can also find Kiernan on iTunes.

What are you waiting for? Go!

Fine. I'll stay here and watch this video while you're gone. And when you come back, you can thank me. ;)

*The previous post was not in any way asked of me to do, nor am I being compensated for it. (And Kiernan, if you see this, I'm not expecting compensation of any kind, either. Unless you really wanna send me more stickers. From Staples.) I simply love Kiernan's music and want to do whatever I can in whatever way I can to help him out.

I swear I haven't disappeared

2009-09-16T07:21:00.000-07:00

Honestly. I've just been super busy. My best friend / sister Jess (you know, the one who made my badge?) is in town visiting. It's so funny, because we haven't seen each other in 6 years. And yet here we are, close as ever. Things are so much different this time around: we're both in different life situations than what we were six years ago, we've both changed, grown, and become different women over the last 6 years. Sure, the internet can keep you in touch, but it can't guarantee that things will be peachy when you see each other again. But I have to tell you, I love the woman she's becoming and I'm so thrilled we've got this week to see each other.

I'm so very blessed that not only have I been able to see my immediate family this year on my visit to PA, but I was also able to see both of my not-blood-but-who-cares-we-love-each-other sisters this year.

So in lieu of posting regularly, I'm going to give you all some links to blogs I absolutely adore. Go on over and please send them a warm hello. Some are dear friends of mine, others are women who I don't necessarily know, but I have a great affection for and respect them greatly.

My Kinda Rain - Lori is an exceptional blogger, and an amazing friend. Tell her Sparkle sent you!

Her Cup Overfloweth - Absolutely amazing. This woman is so crafty - I'm always in awe of her talent that she shares with such joy.

Mama's Losin' It - Home of the Writer's Workshop, Mama Kat is a wonderful writer. I love her wit and sense of humor, as well as her candor.

Scary Mommy - Motherhood: the good, the bad, and the scary. She tackles it all with finesse and a raw sense of honesty that I love and appreciate. The amazing photos add jealousy to admiration.

N.E.O. Moms - Not Easily Offended Moms. Obviously not for the easily offended. I recently discovered this blog and love, love, love it!! I may not always agree, but seeing everything from the other side always helps balance my opinions.

That's all I've got for now, and I hope you enjoy reading while I'm off writing up a storm with Jessie! I'll be featuring more blogs during the rest of the week, and there will guaranteed be a post by Saturday after the follow up with the neurologist.

Happy Wednesday and have a fabulous rest of the week!

We will not forget

2009-09-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

Today's post will be on the short side. NAS Fallon is hosting an air show today featuring The Blue Angels in remembrance of the September 11th attacks. We will be going to see all the aircraft and to see the result of all the hard work MarvMan has been putting into Air Power Park.

You can follow me on Twitter - @linlori - to get updates on the show and to see photos of the air show as it happens.

Have a wonderful day everyone, and I'll see you back here tomorrow for an air show wrap report.

Writer's Workshop: Recent Conversation

2009-09-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

Prompt: Transcribe a recent entertaining conversation you had.

It's fall. And you know what that means. Yep - series premiere season. MarvMan and I have a few shows we follow together, and we also have shows that we follow separately. I'm sorry, I'm not interested in watching football or other sports on TV. I'd rather be there at the game myself.

Well, we were sitting outside, discussing what shows we were looking forward to this season. It's at this point that MarvMan gets worried.

"You're not going to... dominate my tv, are you?"

Seeing this as an opportunity for a witty reply, I raise an eyebrow, smirking. "Your tv? It'll be mine."

Thus the conversation descended into a break down of how we were going to put the television on a time share.

"Sundays are Entourage. And Desperate Housewives."

MarvMan fidgets, perhaps realizing he's a little out of his league on this one. "I get Monday night football?"

"As long as it doesn't interfere with Castle. And Wednesdays are Lie to Me. Thursdays are Fringe." I'm figuring I've got this all on lock down, and I'm sitting rather pretty in the control chair at the moment.

"Friday is Numb3rs." He gets a grin of excitement on his face, like he's got one up on me because he loves that show.

"I'll give you Numb3rs. I like that show." I shrug. That's not a big deal; I can concede that one. I happen to have a huge geek!crush on David Krumholtz, so it works out in my favor in the end.

"Looks like Tuesdays are the only days I'm going to get the tv all to myself."

For a second, I'm flailing. The goal of this was to jokingly lock him out of every single night of television. But he's got me on Tuesdays. And then I remember what I saw on a friend's Facebook page last night. I grin and shake my head.

"Nope. That's the new Melrose Place."

"You suck." He huffs and sinks down in his chair, looking rather defeated.

I giggle. "Not really. I'm not too interested in it, anyway. So there. You have one day all to yourself."

"I would watch The Unit," he makes a face, "but they went and cancelled it." And he says this with such intensity of emotion that you'd honestly think someone had killed his dog, that someone being me.

"It's not my fault!"

"I can still blame you!"

"Fine. I'm blaming you for..."

Quick! Think of something arbitrary! Something good!

"Global warming!"

This post has been written in participation with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Head on over to her blog to check it out!

So excited!!

2009-09-09T15:46:00.001-07:00

I can't wait til Fringe starts!!

The girls helped with the jets

2009-09-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

... and got their names put on one.

How time has flown

2009-09-07T18:12:00.000-07:00

Wow. Somewhere in all the rush and swing of the weekend (or was it the lack thereof?), I completely missed the fact that I have now surpassed the one hundred post mark. For what it's worth, the one hundredth post was my participation in Mommatudes's Saturday Word Wall. Definitely 100th post-worthy. Mommatudes is also a fantastic blog well worth checking out.

I joined Blogger back in December of 2007, according to my Blogger profile. Which is really rather crazy, because I have no clue why I did. I can barely remember what was going on at the time. But when I think about what was going on in my life, I start to remember.

Back then, Breanne was just four months old. Anaya was still two. I was still staying at home, frustrated and struggling terribly with Post-Partum Depression. My mother had just visited in October and somehow we'd made it through that visit without me telling her I was on Zoloft to combat the depression. Part of me still wonders if she knew and if she noticed a difference.

I think at that point in time, I was merely looking for an outlet. And even then, I was concerned about exposing myself to the great, wide, interwebs, especially in regards to such a sensitive subject matter as PPD.

Since then, this blog has gone through a series of incarnations and reincarnations as I've written. I've dropped off the blog-world for awhile, I've come back with no intentions of gaining a readership. And yet somehow, through it all, I've managed to build up a following of 26 readers - at least that's what Blogger tells me - since I started blogging regularly near the end of last year. I find that to be quite the achievement, and I'm so grateful for everyone who found my blog worthwhile enough to follow. It really means a lot to me.

I've finally got the blog set up the way I would like. Jess made me an amazing badge. And I'm committed to blogging more regularly, as well as checking in with blogs I follow more regularly. I excited to build up my presence in the blogosphere; even more so because of all the wonderful people I've found.

So once you're done here, please check out the people who follow me, and please check out the blogs I'm following. There's so many awesome blogs to be found. And thank you, so much, for reading.

*The photo is of a cookie my sister-in-law decorated for me while we were at Michael's during our trip to South Dakota this year. I love my Dustie.

The lies we tell

2009-09-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

We are so full of it. And I mean this not just as in you and me. And her. Or him. Or the dude way back in the corner over there. Yeah, I see you with that laser pointer. I'm talking specifically about mothers. Now, here's the tricky part, because I'm making a generalization, which doesn't include all mothers. In fact, the ones who are exceptions to this generalization? They're the one's who've been lied to.

And I don't think the lying is intentional by any means. Or meant in a malicious manner. But yesterday it was brought to my attention in an abstract sort of way that even with – no, especially with – the best of intentions, we mothers can be the ruin of each other. How did this come up? I posted something on my Facebook from Dooce's blog. It wasn't taken kindly to by one of my friends. (Sidebar: This post also has nothing to do with this friend, who I love, it's more societal commentary inspired by the conversation.)

It came up that she [Dooce] made infants sound like disgusting creatures. That some of the “advice” wasn't good advice and could essentially ruin a woman's breastfeeding relationship with her child should she take this advice. Here's the snippet in question:

Worst advice you can give to someone with a newborn? Sleep when the baby sleeps. That is total and utter crap. Because one nap can be three hours and then the next nap is like fifteen seconds, and when that latter naps happens and you've just put your head down to go to sleep, oh Lord, the agony. And the pain. And the ANGER. And of course it's never healthy to be angry at a newborn, bad things can happen, like suddenly you start drinking tequila at 10 AM and are calling your husband at work JUST SO THAT YOU CAN HANG UP ON HIM.

Maybe it's just me, but oh, man can I identify with that. And reading that? Knowing that she was there at one point, too? Knowing that she made it through and her kid is okay? Makes me feel a million times more normal. For me, she's not kidding that sleeping when the baby sleeps is bad advice. Because man, the all-consuming anger if BreMonster decided to wake up just as I laid my pretty little head on the pillow... It was bad.

And I think that poo-pooing that kind of expression – the raw, honest take on motherhood – is what kills breastfeeding relationships and most attempts at more attached parenting these days. There's this expectation that the instant you start nursing your kid, co-sleeping, carrying them everywhere in a sling, whatever attachment parenting method you decide to take up, that it's going to be all gravy.

That there's going to be nothing but sunshine and roses and tender moments of baby at the breast bonding while you sit there with a placid smile on your face. Your baby will be the calmest baby on the block, cooing and gurgling at the right moments, sleeping for extended periods of time, and completely comfortable with you taking a shower.

If you believed that? I've got some ocean front property in Winnemucca for you to look at.

Because you know what? Infants are disgusting creatures. Between the poop, the spit-up and vomit – which are two completely different things – the drool, the teething diarrhea, the putting things in their mouths whenever possible no matter what it is and oh-my-god-you-don't-know-where-that's-been... it's not pretty. You're most likely going to get peed on. You're probably also going to get shit on you at some point.

You will also find yourself begging for a prescription for Valium, Xanax, Prozac, Zoloft – something, anything – to achieve that placid smile you've seen on the faces of those moms in the posters at the doctors office. Because, let's face it, even the ones on the PPD public service announcement posters? Please. When BreMonster was three months old I would be lucky if I looked that good most days.

There will be nights where you're so sleep deprived you're pretty sure the clock's been stuck at 2 a.m. for the past five hours and oh, my God, MarvMan, I know you can't lactate but if you don't get me a shot of Jack Daniels to calm me down soon, I will find our non-existent skillet and make it a permanent fixture in the wall.

And you know something? Every time I got upset, fed up, frustrated, and downright angry? Not only did I have to deal with being upset and trying to find the real source of my anger, I had to deal with the residual guilt afterward. Feeling like I was a failure as a mother for not loving every agonizing second of being with my child and having a baby who, at some points, was seemingly attached to my breast 24/7. Feeling guilty because here I went having this baby and at some points I just did not want to be a mother anymore. Because I wasn't like those women who were so idyllic in their domesticated bliss as they sat around all day in a clean house with perfectly behaved older children available to help at a moment's notice.

Seriously? I want some of whatever those women and their children are on. Because that's the media expectation. And I felt those expectations transferred onto me even more with unsolicited advice from other mothers. Even with the people who are supposed to be acting as support. Is there no acceptance of the bad feelings that occasionally accompany motherhood? Are we, as a society, that behind that we still consider malcontent with motherhood to be taboo?

Granted, I struggled with PPD with BreMonster. I had it with A-Girl, now that I look back on it, but somehow it wasn't as severe and having to go back to work so soon after having her really screwed with everything, so I usually blamed it on that. Because I was dealing with PPD with BreMonster, perhaps what I was feeling was exaggerated. But that small bit of hope offered by moms with blogs who are honest about all aspects of parenting – as Scary Mommy's blog says, “The good, the bad, and the scary.” - made me feel, and continues to make me feel, normal.

At least as normal as I can get.

Motherhood has its shining moments. God knows they're everywhere. But those shining moments are in the dark times, too. They're in the times when you're on the kitchen floor, trying to cry quietly because you finally got the baby to sleep and you don't want to wake her, but now that it's your chance to sleep? You couldn't sleep if you tried. It's there in the times when you're so angry you nip out the back door and have a cigarette – six months of quitting be damned, you just need to physically shut the crying out before you start screaming at the top of your lungs. It's there when you're covered in spit up and asking, could it get any worse? And it does because you're realizing that the warm feeling on your leg? Not body heat. The diaper leaked. And it's not pretty.

The shining moment of those frustrating times is the point at which you get up and keep going. You clean up, you get up, and then you do it all over again.

I love and appreciate the honestly of bloggers like Dooce and Scary Mommy. Because they remind me that it's okay if I'm not June Cleaver 24/7. They have their bad days. They let it out and they get back to it. That's what being a mother is about.

Saturday Word Wall

2009-09-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, it's Sunday. But I just found out about this because I'm slacking and haven't been keeping up with Mommatudes like I should. Sooooo... Here comes the Saturday Word Wall.

RELIEVED

frustrated

exhausted

blessed

loved

anxious

optimistically pessimistic

Wanna play? Go on over to Mommatudes to check it out! Don't forget to tell her I sent you!

I got a badge, I got a badge...

2009-09-04T22:38:00.000-07:00

I got a badge, hey, hey, hey, hey! In lieu of a lengthy Friday post, I want to show off my shiny new blog badge! Because I have one now! It's glorious and shiny and, oh, how I love it!

I have to send special thank you love to Jess of Digital Whimsies for whipping it up for me. It's positively perfect and I couldn't have asked for better! A million thank yous. I shall be laying my cooking skills at your feet when you come to visit!

Anyone who wants to snag it for their blogs - there's a code in the side bar* for ease of snaggability. (It's a word. Google it.)

*Those of you reading this on Facebook won't understand. Click here for the original site of this blog post.

The Bigger Picture

2009-09-02T06:34:00.000-07:00

My home life the past few days has been crazy. And I know what you're thinking, "Lin, there was a weekend in there. You had to have had time to relax."

Au, contraire.

I would have had time to relax if my husband had the weekend off. Unfortunately, he didn't. He's been put on a project in the Air Power Park out here on base. Basically, APP is a display of a bunch of jets throughout the history of Naval Aviation. It's actually really cool, and I'm super proud that they asked MarvMan to be part of the team of those going to repaint the birds.

Lately, though, it's become a point of contention between us. The project was supposed to have been done before the September 11th air show. Now, it's looking as though they'll be out there well into October. But as the air show approaches, their hours are becoming longer and the crew is now beginning to work weekends. It's been leaving me stuck at home, and because of my current restrictions on driving, it's been driving me - and the girls - rather batty. I'd been getting snippy with MarvMan and in my selfishness completely forgot some of the underlying reasons he and the crew were out there on this project.

Yesterday, I received a bit of a reality check. There are larger reasons at work here, and I needed to recognize those. A few months back, we lost the Executive Officer (XO) of the base in a plane crash. The crash took not only Commander Hook's life, it also took the lives of his three daughters. Part of the crew's job in repainting the aircraft in the park was also to create and affix a memorial for our late Commander and his daughters.

They put it up yesterday.

It took MarvMan and James - the project supervisor - two hours to get this onto the F-18. The Warrant Officer in charge of the project and the Commanding Officer (CO) of the base came out to see the memorial. I don't think there was a dry eye on the project last evening as everyone took a moment to remember our lost XO and his daughters.

When MarvMan came home last night, he told me about the memorial and showed me that photo. I think it's beautiful. The overarching reminder that this memorial gave me is that there are larger purposes at work. Not only on the project, but also in our lives in general. The daily problems we have are small compared to the bigger picture. I can only pray for the grace to make it through each day with some remnant of sanity.

I still won't be pleased when MarvMan doesn't come home until well after 6 this evening and I know I'll still be dealing with the depression that comes with the loss of my independence throughout this whole health ordeal. But maybe today, at least, I can remember that there are others who are counting on my husband and who value his work on more levels than simply viewing him as another body to get things done at a faster pace.

It's a military marriage, and there are three entities involved: myself, MarvMan, and the Navy. Even though we're on shore duty, I still have to share him.

It just comes naturally

2009-08-31T21:15:00.000-07:00

There's been so much going on around here, it's been a little insane. Not really with me - no, no updates on the health, unfortunately - but simply with everything around the house. School time has started up once again, which means diving headlong into another year of schooling Miss A-Girl.

You know what I find interesting? I haven't really intentionally started teaching her again. She's asked about school and I told her we do it here at home, and if she wants to learn something, we'll learn. So she'll grab her notebook and a pen, take a seat at the dining room table and just go to town. She'll put random strings of letters together and ask me if they spell anything. If she wants to know about a particular word, all she wants me to do is write it once for her. After that, she's got it down pat.

I think she has my aversion to numbers, though, because she hasn't been asking about those.

I was most impressed with her writing today, which happened to be on an envelope when she couldn't find her regular notebook.

Pretty good for doing it on her own. I'm getting a curriculum tomorrow. The other stuff piled up on my plate demands that I have a curriculum to follow. I'll keep you all updated with how it goes. But for now? We've just been doing reading, writing, answering questions (and boy, does she have a lot), yoga and gymnastics. And some number flashcards. When Mommy feels up to it.

The quiet of the morning

2009-08-30T07:23:00.000-07:00

It's so quiet this morning. So quiet and peaceful - the only sounds at the moment are the ceiling fan in the living room and the tapping of the keys as I write up this blog post. It's one of those mornings where the quiet is almost surreal; you think maybe you can reach out and touch it, but if you do, it might pop into a cacophony of noise and chaos.

I can sit here and almost pretend that yesterday wasn't as full and overstimulating as it was. The living room is still fairly neat, as is the kitchen. And aside from the leftover cake on the counter, you might think that we hadn't celebrated a birthday here. Which would be a lovely thought, because it's so hard to believe that my youngest is now two years old.

She's growing up so fast. I still remember when I posted that blog about how she'd weaned off nursing. Fifteen months of providing her with nourishment, late nights, bonding... and then she weaned and became that much more independent. In the months following BreMonster's weaning, she's become that much more independent every day since then.

BreMonster is trailing along after A-Girl, now. Getting into trouble with her sister; she really excels at getting her sister into trouble. She scales cabinets and countertops with grace and skill reserved only for monkeys and lemurs, recognizes letters of the alphabet, and comes bolting through the house for hugs when she hears Daddy's home from work. Yes, my BreMonster (BreMonkey?) has been growing and changing so much over the past year. Her second birthday was simply a reminder of how fast time is going by and how precious little we actually have.

My beautiful little girl, I love you so much.
And I really, really wish you would stop growing up so quickly.

Crafty, crafty catch up.

2009-08-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, I almost spelled it ketchup instead of catch up. Unfortunately, I'm not talking about condiments this morning. I'm talking about all the crafts I seem to have gotten into and never quite finished.

I've been noticing all this while cleaning out my office and getting everything organized and such. It's just... the unfinished craft bit? It's starting to become a burden. Christmas is coming up - ohmigosh, anyone else notice that there's only 120 some odd days until Christmas?! - and I wanted to make a lot of gifts this year by hand. Except the clutter and the half-finished projects are getting in the way.

So here's what I'm going to do:

I'm giving myself next week to assess and finish at least one project per day. If I'm halfway or most of the way done on something already, this shouldn't be too hard. Note: This is only the week for projects that I've already started!

What about the projects for which I've got the materials, but never quite started? That's being handled, too. I'll be making a list (and checking it twice*) and holding myself to a time limit on these projects.

But this upcoming week? It's all about catching up. Anyone want to join me? Comment me and let's get going!

You don't have what?!

2009-08-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, I know. It's crazy. Practically blasphemous, when you think about it. I mean, really, how could I possibly do this to myself?! And if I didn't really care about myself, how could I do this to my children?! Of all the things in all the world, why, oh why, would I take this one blessed thing away from my little girls.

What is that one blessed thing?

Television. Cable. Television.

Granted, we have something like 11 channels. One of which is PBS, four of which are QVC or QVC-wannabe channels. The rest are news and occasionally on the weekend, this one channel plays this show that I really, really love and never thought I would because it's a kid's show. (The Sushi Pack - seriously, if sushi could get any cuter, I would love to know. Someone get me a Wasabi plushie, stat!)

But the thing is... we haven't really been missing it. I mean, for the past year or so, we'd totally forgotten that we even had the basic cable package to begin with! The girls watch movies, and I can't blame them. No annoying commercial interruptions. Unless they're in the middle of a movie and I just so happen to walk by their room and notice it's a mess. Then it's a MOMmercial interruption. But that's different. Now that we have PBS and that one channel that plays The Sushi Pack, they're really rather indifferent to it. The only time A-Girl gets upset is if I turn off a movie in the middle of it. (I hate that, too, kid, but you gotta clean your room.)

I definitely miss The Food Network, Animal Planet, and the Discovery Channel, but at this point? Upgrading our cable would be pointless. So many channels we don't watch but we're still paying for.

Talk to me in a few years if I decide to send the girls to public school and need something to fill the afternoon void.

Wordy Photo Wednesday

2009-08-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

Childhood lost...

These photos are from one of my birthday parties when I was younger (obviously). I'm the one on the right.

In the second photo - Tommy (L) and Bobby (center - getting choked out, lol). Also, on the right, that's my little sister sitting on Kelly's lap. I haven't seen most of these people (except my sister) in years. We went to elementary school together, and then I moved. But I remember most all of them clear as day. Bobby found me on MySpace and we've been catching up on old times recently.

The boy in the red sweater in the photos (on the right in the last photo) was 25 when he passed on August 25th. Rest in peace, Tommy.

I despise scissors

2009-08-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those days, so I'm capping off the evening - after bum rushing through last minute school work - with some photos. Particularly of what happens when small children get into the scissors and proceed to have their own salon day. And Mommy has to fix it.

Sigh. She looks so much more grown up. More photos to come, I'm sure.

Tuesday, Tuesday, please be a better day.

Shiny new toy and an experiment.

2009-08-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was a pretty darn exciting day in our household. We'd gotten sick of Alltel and their heinous ways - who wants to pay $130 a month for a basic plan with internet on only one phone of the two on the plan and you still get charged extra for even using the internet? After having gone in to the store out in town and being told the same thing, "No, you cannot upgrade your plan, and no, we will not replace the crappy phone we gave you that we know is crappy with an updated model." We got sick of being mistreated and decided to go with another company all together.

Read: I nagged MarvMan shamelessly til he caved.

We decided to go with Verizon and - joy, of all joys - MarvMan agreed to smartphones! But not just any smartphones folks. BlackBerries. BlackBerry Storms.*

*Yes, I'm a member of the Almighty Cult of Apple. But I haven't heard good things about AT&T, and much as I might want an iPhone, I can't be trapped with a crappy company just for the sake of Apple. I'm still a loyal customer for everything else, though. Promise. (secret Apple sign of peace here)

I have been so insanely happy with this phone so far. I think I'm in love. And, of course, I got the pink silicone case for it. And while I can't get a decent photo of the screen itself, I can tell you that I got my theme from Themes4BB.com, which has proven to be an awesome site so far!

Really, there should perhaps be a law against being in love with your phone. But until then, I'm going to pose a couple questions for everyone:

What are your favorite mobile apps?
Best app for Twitter?
Games I will probably not want to stop playing?

I mean, if I can't stop playing on it in the first place, I might as well find some games to occupy my time as well!

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-19T09:10:00.001-07:00

My apologies for the sparsity of posts lately. I've been swamped with work and attempts at redesigning this place. :)

My desk. Covered in a multitude of projects, most of which are usually in work simultaneously. We've got my Ethics and Social Responsibility textbook, a magazine of recipes to spice up our menu plans, a crochet project, various other sundries. And, of course, coffee.

EEGad!

2009-08-10T15:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know - you love my lame puns. And I love them, too. Today was the second drive to Carson City for the EEG. Oh, huzzah. Last night I had to stay up until 11 pm, then wake up at 3 am, and stay up until the test. I could have no caffeine/nicotine, and I had to limit my sugar intake until after the test.

You have no idea how much that sucked. Or maybe you do. Regardless, let's get right into it.

The ride to Carson? The same boring stretch of Hwy 50 it always is. I'll have to take photos when I go for the next consult with the neurologist so you all can really get a feel for what we drive through. Until then, I have other images I'll share.

This is approximately what was strapped on my noggin. Except this looks all nice and futuristic-y. I also had gel all over wherever there was a sensor - to include my chest (to monitor my heart), my neck, forehead, either side of my nose, around my hairline, and then in every one of those nodule dealies (yep, that's the technical term) that's in the cap. And don't let the sleek swim-cap look fool you.

There were needles in that sucker. That had to be scraped against my scalp until a connection was made. I was terrified that there would be nothing there for them to connect to or that she would try to actually shove the needle through my skull and into my brain. Sort of like this:

I had to. Because quite honestly? The rest of the testing felt much like someone was attempting to reprogram my brainpan. And Firefly / Serenity is my favorite tv show that was never given a chance / movie.

Anyway, back on to the EEG.

There were a few exercises that I was asked to do. Open your eyes, close your eyes. Open your eyes, close your eyes. Now breathe deeply and slowly for three minutes. And then...

OMG RAVE!!

Sort of like that. A strobe had been positioned not too far from my face and at one point during the testing, It began flashing. Slow speeds, then fast speeds. Then random flashes followed by intense spurts of flashing. All throughout, I had to open my eyes, close my eyes. And look into the light. EEGad indeed. (See? My puns are helpful in the future.)

And then came a twenty minute nap. I was told to lay as still as possible, and after all the insanity of the mini rave in the testing room, I passed out. The woman doing the test said that my falling asleep would produce the best results, so I suppose it was for the best that I fell asleep.

Now, mind you, I didn't feel all that bad until she took the cap off. Then the needles broke contact with my skin and it felt like the world's worst sunburn ever. Or like this.

Admit it, you're loving the visual aids. When I went outside into the hot Nevada sun, it felt even more like that, though, as my thick hair trapped the heat right next to my scalp, irritating the points of contact.

At least I didn't bleed. Well, I don't think I did.

Regardless, this was yet another trip that was only semi-productive. We have no results yet. Not even a preliminary guesstimation from the woman who administered the test. Up next is the MRI of my head and then finally, maybe, we'll have answers.

In September when I go back to the neurologist.

I'm trying to keep my hopes up and my faith strong, but struggling daily to do so whenever I'm hit with a dizzy spell. It's a constant fear of, "Am I going to seizure again? Is it going to be a big one? Little? Am I going to have to have Anaya call Marv to come home just to help me off the floor?"

But I am grateful still. I am grateful that the initial diagnosis of BPPV lead to this, that the nerve damage was found in my ear and we are working to correct that. And, though it's difficult - I am grateful that we are moving forward toward answers. It's baby steps, but they're forward steps.

(Image creds: EEG, River Tam, Hellraiser)

The Neurologist in Carson City

2009-08-05T13:27:00.001-07:00

The smell of the rain circulating through the truck and the sound of it as it rhythmically splattered on the windshield sent me right to sleep on our way home from Carson City today. I dreamed that I was on a beach, comfortably sprawled in a hammock strung up beneath a tiki hut. The rhythm of the waves rolling in on the beach, and the fact that I was warm despite the rain, kept me asleep for quite some time.

I clung to the memory of the dream, especially when I woke up as Marv pulled into our driveway to the usual Fallon heat with my entire right leg asleep and my neck crooked at an awkward angle.

The drive to Carson City is about the same distance - or at least length of time - that it takes for one to drive to Reno. It just so happens that the neurologist my primary care doctor decided to send me to practices in Carson City. Initially, I was under the impression that Carson City may have been just a tiny bit closer. Not so much.

So I am now convinced that not only on this quest for answers in regards to my health will I eventually find these answers, I'm also convinced I will have traveled most of Northern Nevada on this quest. Bear with me, I'm trying to keep on the bright side of things.

My neurologist was very thorough, if a little short at first. But then, who wouldn't be short when your patient arrives ten minutes late because they got lost just up the street from your office? I was a little irritated, myself, because it wasn't until yesterday that I'd been informed that this appointment was merely a consult and not the EEG itself. I was hoping that we could get some of this done somewhere in a timely manner.

Regardless, the appointment went fairly well. We discussed what had happened, we discussed my family history. (Which reminds me, I need to send e-mails to my family in order to get a more detailed history of disorders in this regard. Previously, I'd only needed the big ones - diabetes, cancer, and mental disorders.) We also discussed my previous medical history and touched frequently on my past with migraines.

What the neurologist basically narrowed it down to was that it could have been a seizure, or it could have been a severe migraine. I bit my tongue a lot and need to do more research. After twelve years of dealing with migraines, there has always been a warning: auras, seeing spots, what have you. My warning signs have never changed, and this came and passed within a matter of five minutes (not counting the ten afterward until my mental faculties were completely under control again) with no warning whatsoever. So if it was a migraine, I'm concerned as to what has changed in my body that it came on so suddenly, severely, and without warning.

At the end of it all, I have been sent home - still without diagnosis - and am awaiting two tests. One is the EEG - they're going to call me to schedule. The other is an MRI of my head - I get to call Banner Churchill for that. The EEG will require yet another trip to Carson City. Which I don't think I'd mind now that I know - mostly - where I'm going.

Oh, and my driving privileges? Per Nevada state law, because my mental faculties were diminished for 15 minutes after the episode, I am not allowed to drive for three months. If I have made it through three months without an episode that causes me to lose consciousness or impairs my mental faculties for an extended period of time, I can drive again.

So I suppose my life over the next few months will be revolving around being dependent on others for help and only going as far as I can walk. It'll be good exercise, I'm sure.

Thankful Tuesdays

2009-08-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

After yesterday's ordeals (and still dealing with the repercussions thereof) I thought it would be a good time to sit down and recount all my blessings. Because I am so very blessed, in spite of all the stress and in spite of all the bad news that seems to be rolling in, there are many things that I should be thankful for.

So today, I'll show you five things I'm grateful for. In words and photos.

I am so grateful for A-Girl. She is the first child. The experimental one, the one we've made errors with, the one we will continue to make errors with. The one who brought MarvMan and I back together, who taught me that late nights aren't always a bad thing and who continually teaches me about the true depths of unconditional love. She had her first gymnastics class last night, and I was reminded that time with my oldest truly is precious and slipping away faster than I would like. Even after all our worries about her social development, Anaya did wonderfully last night and is so excited to go again.

Sometimes it's hard to remember to be grateful for the youngest. I don't mean it as badly as it sounds - hear me out. BreMonster is nearing her second birthday, and with it has been the rumblings of the Terrible Twos. But the more I think about it, the more I can't look at it as "Terrible." It is a phase of development and it's occasionally heartbreaking to watch my baby girl grow into her own unique person, even when she's testing boundaries and thinking she's the queen of the house. (She's not, I am. I have the cape. I make the whoosh noises.) But her laughter and love and personality full of spark and life remind me that even as I'm ushering Anaya off into a more independent childhood, Breanne is still tiny enough to appreciate long stretches of snuggling on the couch with her tiny warm body as she makes commentary on the latest Sesame Street episode.

I'm always grateful for the dogs, but Washburn's been my favorite as of late. He can tell when I'm stressed out and upset, and the cold, wet nose on my arm isn't so much of a bother anymore as it is a comfort. I prefer the massive fur throw he becomes when he wraps around my feet at my desk, but I'll take what I can get. He's the first dog we've found that worked out for us and has quickly earned his place in the family numerous times since. He's my biggest furbaby and I'm so glad we have him.

What? Myself? I can't be grateful for myself? Well, this is a photo of me on the computer, listening to music. Ignore the massively oldschool headphones. But it was the best personal picture I could find to illustrate how grateful I am for music. It's had the power over the last day or so to bring me from a place of rage to a place of calm. I've cried and I've fallen asleep at my desk to music. It has been an ever-present force in my life since I was born, and I'm so grateful to have that appreciation to this day. (In heavy rotation lately: Regina Spektor's album "Far," Kiernan McMullan's "Perfect People are Boring," and Brandi Carlile's "The Story")

And last, but certainly not least, I am grateful for MarvMan. Any man who can weather through all these stresses and put up with my tendency toward distraction and all the health issues that have cropped up with as level a head as MarvMan has faced all of this deserves so major credit. Despite my tendency to fly off the handle, MarvMan has been there for me and has been a force of calm and rational thinking in my life when my whimsical self is occasionally prone to worst case scenario thinking. And I love him dearly for that.

What are you thankful for?

Hay-Time Switchel

2009-08-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

Now, if I haven't made mention of it often enough, you all know I went to Pennsylvania from July 19th to July 24th. Of course I went to see some of my favorite bands of all time perform. To see family, and to spend time with Stacey. But I also made sure to pick up a cookbook. What sort of cookbook? An Amish recipe cookbook, actually.

And you thought I didn't bring anything back for you.

How is this for you? Because I'm going to share my journey through the cookbook with you. Photos, recipes, stories and all.

I was paging through the other day for a quick one to make. Some people go in order, I go by what draws me in. This recipe drew me in not only for the very quirky, cool name, but also because at that time, it was the first one I had all the ingredients for. That, and it's a drink that isn't soda, which earns bonus points in my book.

So I present to you...

Hay-Time Switchel

2 cups sugar
1 cup molasses*
1/4 cup cider vinegar*
1 tsp ginger
1 gallon water, divided

Now, if you're anything like me, you're looking at that ingredient list going, "Is she serious?" Buckle up and bear with me, because this is worth it. Beyond worth it. Also, the * is to indicate that I used blackstrap unsulphured molasses, and that the original recipe doesn't call for cider vinegar specifically, however when compared with other recipes, it's the better option of the two. So use cider if you've got it. If not, no sweat, use white.

To start, take your sugar, molasses, vinegar, ginger, and 1 quart of the water. (That's 4 cups, just so no one else is rushing Google for conversion measurements like I was.) Dump them all into a pan on the stove and heat until dissolved. (Note: don't boil! Low/Medium heat works well.)

Here's what it will look like on the stove. Very easy to tell when everything's dissolved, too. I know, I know. You're looking at it and going, "Really? Brown... stuff?" Hang with me. This is the ugliest - and most difficult - this recipe gets.

Unless, of course, you have troubles getting that all into your gallon container. I used a wide funnel and managed to pour most of the molasses mix back into the measuring cup before pouring it into the funnel.

Fill the rest of the jug back up with water and pop it in the fridge until it's thoroughly chilled.

Serve in a tall glass with plenty of ice.

According to various websites I visited regarding the history of switchel, it was drank by the Amish farmers during hay time (hence the name of this one) and was a great energy booster and aided in replenishing electrolytes.

MarvMan isn't a fan, but he's not a fan of molasses, though, so that could have a major part in his dislike. I don't bale hay or anything, but after taste testing, I'm hooked. This one is going to become a staple in the fridge and may, in fact, get me off soda.

My Summer Vacation

2009-07-29T20:08:00.001-07:00

I took yesterday off to recover from the whole ER trip and whatnot. To those of you who @'ed me on Twitter, bless you and thank you for the concern. I'm feeling much better today.

But now... I need to share. I had an amazing vacation this summer. This was the first trip that I would actually call a "vacation" in a very. Long. Time. Those of you who follow the blog know that I was able to get finances in order and was able to go back home to Pennsylvania to see one of my favorite groups, LFO, perform in Allentown.

It. Was. Amazing.

I can't even begin to stress the word "amazing" or even articulate to the fullest extent.

Firstly, it was amazing because I was able to go to the concert with my best friend / sister, Stacey. She and I have been in love with these guys from the beginning. And we were just... thrilled beyond words.

Why ever would we be thrilled beyond words? I'm so very glad you asked me that question.

Because we also had VIP passes.

We had access to sound check, backstage, and the tour bus. Now, we missed sound check because Allentown streets suck and omg how many one way streets could you possibly fit in one six block area?! But we did get to hang out on the bus. And back stage.

And let me tell you. If you only ever go see one show? This is the show to hit. Our tickets were $25 each. And for that $25? We saw Kiernan McMullan, Go Crash Audio, Rookie of the Year, and LFO. How much better can you get for $25?!

The VIP passes? Oh, man. This is the best group of people to get a pass to meet that you could ever have asked for. Everyone is super conversational, totally approachable. The whole backstage area was so completely laid back and you honestly felt right at home. I loved everyone I met that night.

To be able to be there, to hang out with the guys one on one, and to chill out and hang out with them... oh, man. That's why there's so many pictures in this blog post. I can't even begin to explain the kind of emotional life high I was riding that night. And the guys of LFO? All of them - they talk to you like you've known them forever.

Which reminds me. I know I started rambling a lot when we were hanging out on the bus. But, Brad, you've got the kind of personality that sort of just... seriously, you should be in the FBI. People would spill their guts to you no problem. So if I said too much? (Especially about bunny hunting and all that - I never realized how redneck I've gotten...) I'm sorry. But at least I was entertaining?

Regardless, thank you for an amazing experience. I hope to do it again in Reno next year!

The 6 Hour ER Trip

2009-07-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

This is not what I expected to come back from vacation to have to post, but... here you have it. I'll be back to normal posting soon, I hope.

This afternoon I was coming inside through the laundry room. I remember turning to pull the door shut behind me (it doesn't latch properly) and then all of a sudden I couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything, I remember hitting my head (which strangely felt like water being splashed on my temple), a crash of sorts as my hearing cycled in and out, and then everything went completely out for a few moments. When I came to, I vividly remember my arm still twitching, and I was mildly aggravated because I couldn't get it to stop. (Marv later told me that my entire upper body was twitching, and he's fairly sure the only reason my lower body wasn't twitching was because my legs were pinned between my torso - which was braced against the dryer - and the wall of the laundry room, as it's merely a hallway and there's only about a foot or so of space.)

Marv was leaning over me, asking me if I could hear him. Which I could, I just couldn't get my mind and mouth to function properly and I still couldn't see clearly. After the second or third time that he asked, I was finally able to respond. I still didn't know I wasn't standing anymore. I thought for sure that I was still on my feet, even as Marv was standing and I clearly was not. He asked me again, "Lin, are you with me?" And I finally came out of it enough to respond that yes, I was, but what the hell had happened?

It was then that I realized my pants were covered in soda and that I'd dropped the Pepsi I'd had, causing a large mess. I didn't even realize until I saw it that I was covered in soda. Marv asked me what day it was. I thought about it and couldn't figure it out so I ventured a guess. I said it was Tuesday. Obviously, it wasn't. He pulled me up and after a struggle to maintain weight on my feet, we made it to the living room. I was frigid cold. I bundled up on the couch for awhile, with Marv keeping me awake for a bit to make sure I was alright.

I fell asleep for a little, but when I still felt crappy and loopy and out of it upon waking, we decided to go to the ER. Especially after having consulted with my balance therapist, who also recommended it. It took approximately an hour or so before I was even taken back to a room and a grand total of three hours before I was seen, one full hour of which no one even bothered to look in on me. Now, listen, I know to expect waits in the ER, but to not even check on someone who's had a traumatic injury to the head? (I don't think I mentioned it before - when I hit my head? I took the light switch to the temple.)

Regardless, I was eventually seen and the doctor immediately said, "Yeah, that sounds like a seizure." Marv is well versed in seizures, as Joan suffered from them, and the two of them proceeded into a rapid-fire discussion revolving around symptoms and what happened, side effects, so on and so forth. Then came the testing.

After a CT scan of my head, full blood workup, and whatever testing they do on urine, we thought for sure we'd be on some sort of path. Unfortunately, there was a shift change and a different doctor came in.

So... because the CT scan and blood work came in clear and I'm not pregnant? I was demoted to a simple fainting episode and told to ensure I was drinking Gatorade because perhaps all the water I've been drinking is diluting my electrolytes. Never mind being treated like a moron because it was "just a fainting episode." The doctor told me that, "given my condition" (history with dizzy spells and currently being in balance therapy) this is something that I "may just have to expect" because it could've just been a "larger balance issue."

Six hours in the ER to essentially be told I'm being a baby. Because of what the first doctor said, and because he's the one who was following me since someone handed him my exam room clipboard when they took me back, I'm going to be scheduling an appointment with my Primary Care Provider, just to be sure.

Thank you to everyone for all the thoughts and prayers and well-wishes. I love you all and this is one of many reasons why. <3

#militarymon Tees? Fantastic!

2009-07-11T14:15:00.001-07:00

Yes! Tees honoring #militarymon that also help a fantastic cause!

From: Milblogging.com

Bouhammer.com in conjunction with KissMyGumbo.com and Vision Strike Wear have developed and has for sale the very first Twitter-themed T-shirt honoring Military Monday, which is designated by the hashtag #militarymon.

The tees will be featuring the #militarymon hashtag on the front and this kick-ass graphic on the back:

If that wasn't freaking cool enough, when you purchase a #militarymon tee, you're also helping to raise money for an amazing cause, Project Valour-IT.

Project Valour-IT, in memory of SFC William V. Ziegenfuss, helps provide voice-controlled/adaptive laptop computers and other technology to support Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines recovering from hand wounds and other severe injuries. Technology supplied includes:

Voice-controlled Laptops - Operated by speaking into a microphone or using other adaptive technologies, they allow the wounded to maintain connections with the rest of the world during recovery.

Wii Video Game Systems - Whole-body game systems increase motivation and speed recovery when used under the guidance of physical therapists in therapy sessions (donated only to medical facilities).

Personal GPS - Handheld GPS devices build self-confidence and independence by compensating for short-term memory loss and organizational challenges related to severe TBI and severe PTSD.

The experience of Major Chuck Ziegenfuss, a partner in the project who suffered serious hand wounds while serving in Iraq, illustrates how important these laptops and other technologies can be to a wounded service member's recovery.

Also, for a fun trivia fact, Vision Strike Wear, the awesome people who are making these tees available? They're Marine owned and operated! Awesomeness and benefits all around!

I ordered my tee - what are you waiting for? Click here to get your hands on this tee!

That was a crazy week

2009-07-10T22:43:00.001-07:00

And I'm so thankful to have made it through. *wiping sweat off brow*

I could use one of these about now...

We moved the girls from separate rooms into one room. Getting a 2 year old and a 4 year old to settle down and go to sleep is no easy task, let me tell you. Even putting them to bed separately doesn't quite work out all that well.

There were a few reasons behind this: 1- they were refusing to keep their rooms clean separately, 2- I needed a place of solitude where I could hole up and actually get some work done. So, really, it was mutually beneficial. Just try to tell them that when we're in there for the fourth time, trying not to lose our temper and telling them, "No, really, it's bedtime. Quiet time. Shh."

And then there was balance therapy. It's been going well. It's at a slow pace, which can be frustrating for my impatient self, but I need to learn to take a deep breath and slow down. Diving headlong onto the hard stuff is probably not the brightest of ideas. That, and rehabilitating something I've been having problems with for years is obviously going to take a little longer than a couple weeks' worth of exercises. I mean, we're talking about retraining my entire vestibular balance system and re-coordinating that with the rest of my balance systems. It's not exactly like making a pb&j sandwich.

On top of all that, we'd decided that this weird lump that had been growing on Wash's leg had been hanging around long enough and he needed to be seen. On top of that, he needed his rabies shots, so it worked into his yearly check up anyway. They didn't have the ability at this vet to test it in the clinic, but regardless of what it is, Washburn is going under the knife to get this lump removed. They don't think it's anything malignant or serious, but still... my poor baby's going under the knife! *whine*

I almost missed what I thought was my PT appointment on Thursday because the back passenger tire on my F150 was going flat, and MarvMan's command had been switching his schedule so much, he hadn't gotten to it. Thank my lucky stars, when I called The PT clinic to reschedule, they told me my appointment wasn't Thursday, silly duck, it was Friday.

And somehow the week pulled out of the gutter. The girls slept peacefully last night. They slept in a little this morning. Oi, sleeping in is blissful. They were pleasant this morning, despite a few sketchy moments here and there. Wash had his appointment and I'm ultimately feeling better about that situation. I got MarvMan an early birthday present, and he loves it. Then we all went to my balance therapy session - which went well, thank goodness - and then out to dinner. As a family. Just us.

MarvMan's early b-day prezzie. Taurus .38 Special

Came home, put the kids to bed, MarvMan's off hunting, and I've got quiet time to relax and be up this late with no worries. Except for some school work. But I know I've got it down and can bang it out tomorrow. Tonight is a night to breathe.

There is always something to be grateful for. Even if you have to look a little harder.

Where is our moment?

2009-07-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

Also known as: Michael Jackson vs The Military

Michael Jackson was known as The King of Pop. He lived an extraordinary and luxurious life once he rocketed to stardom as a musical performer. Throughout his career, he was a troubled person, struggling with abuse, addictions and various other issues. He contributed much to the music industry, to include dance moves like The Moonwalk and various other hit songs, albums, and advances in musical styling. Jackson also donated to many charities, created NeverLand Ranch and dealt with accusations of child molestation which were subsequently paid off and swept under the rug. He died suddenly at the age of 50 of a heart attack. Thousands will show up to his funeral and celebrities have and will continue to express their condolences to the Jackson family for their unfortunate loss.

Your average military service member is anywhere between the ages of 18 to 25 upon first enlisting. They are usually fresh out of high school or college. Most likely their extensive job history includes stints at fast food joints, convenience stores, or wherever they could get a job to pay for the limo for their senior prom or buy books for next semester.

They enlisted for various reasons, most of which are personal, many of which involve a desperate need for money to help with the ever-increasing costs of a college education and the insanity of repaying student loans.

All of them, whether they enlisted for it or not, grow to take pride in serving and giving back to the country that has given them the freedoms they enjoy.

Many have families. Spouses and children who must wait on the home front when they are deployed overseas, fighting for our country. People who love them dearly and pray daily for their safe return.

If the service member is killed in action, their body is returned home to be buried by their family. Their life is celebrated and their death is mourned, families and friends express their condolences. Fellow service members grieve the loss of someone they had never thought this would happen to. Those still overseas grieve and in the middle of the night, they can't help but wonder... am I next? Should it have been me?

The service member is not mourned in an arena, with thousands of wailing, weeping fans who paid a cover charge to be allowed access to see the body just one last time.

The service member is not given extensive media coverage. There are no biopics made of their lives.

Celebrities do not send condolences to the families.

Congress does not stop for a moment of silence.

The service member grappled with life or death situations on a daily basis. Saw things that they will never tell you, not only because they can't, but because they went over there so you didn't have to. They fight to find support when they come home, they struggle with post traumatic stress disorder and grieve for their fallen brothers and sisters.

They are deployed overseas multiple times. Their deployments are extended. Families don't know exactly where they are at and communication is spotty at best.

If anyone wanted an update on Michael Jackson, all they needed to do was Google his name. Military families don't get that kind of information. They can't have that. They live in quiet pride and express their grief quietly when they receive that knock on the door. Cameras do not follow them around.

E News doesn't ask for their thoughts or opinions on the death of their loved one.

Today, thousands of fans will show up to Michael Jackson's funeral and they will openly weep. Media crews will fight for space and servers will crash over the high traffic to the live web stream of the services.

And military families will pay their last respects, their only prayer that no one shows up to protest their loved one's funeral.

Sure, MJ donated to charities.
Service members are donating their lives for you.

Where is our moment of silence?

#militarymon

2009-07-06T21:37:00.000-07:00

If you're not on Twitter, I'll fill you in. #militarymon is a hashtag. Hashtags are used to group topics in Twitter searches. Its heaviest use is seen on Mondays, as it is short for Military Monday.

Military Monday is a chance for everyone on Twitter to shout out to former and current active duty, retired, dependents, spouses - anyone associated with the armed forces.

It's a chance to express your gratitude to the people who have fought for your freedom, to thank and remember those who have died for that freedom.

To cheer on those currently serving, and to peek inside the lives of the husbands, wives, and families who stay behind on the home front while their loved ones serve.

It's also a chance to connect with other military supporters and swap stories, share inspirational quotes and songs. Link to blog posts and photos that we've all dug up.

Military Monday is such a beautiful thing. And yes, the gratitude and the spirit of the day is what matters most. I connected with some amazing new people over the past day or so while tweeting about Military Monday.

But can you blame me for being a little more than miffed when #nothingpersonal and the freakin' Bachelorette are trending higher than #militarymon? Come on, now.

So here's my challenge to you and to all my Twitter followers. Next Monday, July 13th, I challenge you to tweet something military related with the hashtag #militarymon at least once. If everyone could get every one of their followers to do it just once, maybe people will pay more attention to the topic.

Because on Twitter, more attention means more awareness. Awareness means support. And those two things - awareness and support - mean everything.

Sunday Soliloquy

2009-07-05T19:25:00.001-07:00

It is Sunday, right? Right? I ask because I posted an update on Facebook on Friday saying that it was Saturday when it obviously wasn't. Time has been slipping by and slipping away so quickly.

One of my closest friends, Donna, has a little girl who's going to turn four on July 7th. And that always leads to discussions about, "Wow, where has the time gone?" And, really, I would love to know where it has gone.

Here I sit, 24 years old, and I've got a 4 year old, and an almost 2 year old. Just four short years ago, I was young, pregnant, and totally clueless. So much has changed in such a short time.

It's almost unfathomable to me that I've become the person I am today. I've served in the military. Proudly so, and to the best of my ability. I still miss it, and may even go back once I've gotten my degree.

I gave birth to a gorgeous daughter who, for as much as she can be a thorn in my foot, she's also the light of my life and brings me so much joy.

I married an amazing man. He's still serving in the military and I am so proud to say I stand behind him and support him 210%. MarvMan spoils me rotten and I don't thank him enough for it. Just today he rearranged bedrooms so one was open and now I have an office all of my own. He takes care of us and provides for us, and I am more than happy to reciprocate. Even on the bad days when I would love to burn all his socks because they're all over the floor.

Then along came my second daughter. The one who completed the family. Who was supposed to stay small and really never has. So full of spunk and attitude and spice, it's hard to believe there's any sugar in that small body until she's in your lap and snuggling you.

I am blessed to be in college, to be pursuing a degree that I can do pretty much whatever I want in it. It's terrifying at the moment because I'm looking into the week to come with four chapters to read, two discussion posts to write, an exam and a research paper to start, and my brain is seizing. But I love the challenge and I love that it's mine.

It's long weekends spent with them that I realize how amazing they are. How much I appreciate the quiet in the house after a day full of noise, but also how much I look forward to everyone waking up in the morning and the daily hum of activity in the house.

And I am only 24.

Tumultuous Tuesday

2009-06-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

Ohhh, my goodness. I know I've been away and haven't updated in awhile. It's been a crazy ride the last few days.

Most of it was my own fault, really. I put off my paper for Computer Literacy until the last minute and was buried under paperwork and research. Now I'm transitioning straight on through into Cultural Anthropology, which seems really intense and fast-paced for a five-week course. I've got my fingers crossed.

Then MarvMan was swapped over to night shift and, ugh, that's thrown everyone off. I don't know why, but somehow that simple switch, even though it means he's home more during the day, has thrown the whole schedule off.

So much so that I missed my first balance therapy appointment this morning. Disappointing, but I was a little nervous about it anyway, so...

But I'm trying to look on the bright side of life. What side of life is that? Threadcakes is finally open for submissions and I was able to officially submit my entry!

It's only the first of (hopefully) three more cakes - one more in the 2D category for sure. The entry time has been extended to August, so I've got plenty of time to fuss and plan and plot. I've got my fingers crossed that I get some good feedback at least. And trust me, I'll be keeping everyone posted as to weekly favorites voting and if there's anything anyone can do to help me out in the winning section, hehe.

Threadcakes Thursday

2009-06-25T22:03:00.000-07:00

Funkalicious piping photo.

Hoooo boy, y'all. I'm getting nervous. Finished my first cake for the Threadcakes competition. My friends on Facebook have gotten a sneak peek at the photos, which I'll gladly share here once I've gotten the chance to submit them to the site as my first entry.

But I have to be honest. I'm getting jittery. I've been following the updates on Twitter, and professionals are allowed to enter. Now, I'm not faulting anyone whatsoever. I'm still (mostly) all about the competition and am dying to get my hands on the prizes. (Hopefully.) It's just... c'mon, they're professionals. What do they need with baking pans and flour and chocolate? They've already got that stuff!

Me? I had to borrow cake pans from my neighbor (who is an amazing woman) so I could make this first cake because my others had busted awhile back and I forgot. My piping tips are at least two years old and some have been mangled by the garbage disposal. I've had to make this cake (and my future entries) in my home kitchen, where I'm battling a 4 year old who wants to get her hands in everything and an almost-2 year old who likes to scale my counters and stick her fingers in everything. Did I mention the Rottweiler who can easily raise up onto the counter and will eat anything? These people have kitchens they are able to cook in that don't have intruders. They probably have sous chefs. And the biggest thing they've got that I don't?

Training.
I'm self-taught. From a gingerbread decorating book.

But you know what? The more I think about it, the more I'm realizing I've got something they don't, too. I've got a damn amazing support group of friends who are behind me 200% and truly believe I've got a shot at this. And hell, even if I lose, they still love me, and I (and some of them) still get cake. What? They're scattered about the country, and already assembled cake doesn't ship well. If you don't believe me, you've hardly ever watched the Food Network.

I've got my fingers crossed. My nerves are high, but I've put the effort in already, so there's really no turning back. But it's all good. I got skillz.

And fantastic delusions of grandeur.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

Hard work...

Oh, Tuesday

2009-06-23T12:41:00.001-07:00

I had all sorts of ideas rolling around in my head for what I was planning on doing for the blog today. I was going to do one thing or another, it was going to be amazing and poetic, perhaps even a little philosophical. And then I got distracted. Why? Because of a number of things.

1- The plans for the LFO concert in July are finite! Everything is in place, everything is rolling along smoothly, all I need is for it to be July already!! (For those interested, LFO is now on Facebook as well! Go become a friend, be a fan - they're wonderful to their fans and I love them all dearly.)

2- I found out that my physical therapy for my dizzy spells / nerve damage in the ear / balance therapy / brain reprogramming will be starting next week and I'm super excited and hopeful and grateful things are rolling smoothly for that. Link to the post that explains the diagnosis and what's wrong with me. (Well, okay, one of many issues. ;) )

3- I'm super busy trying to overcome a bunch of setbacks for the Threadcakes cake competition I'm entering in. I could really use and would love the prizes, and cake decorating is a hobby of mine, sooooo... That's where we are with that.

So far, I've had to bake three different cakes. The first one fell apart coming out of the pan. I should probably note I'm a total amateur and have no formal training whatsoever. I also have barely any "professional" baking supplies except things I've picked up at Wal-Mart as needed. So springform pans? Out of the question. Don't have 'em, no time to pick 'em up. The second one sort of came out - a piece broke off the bottom and I was simply going to fix it with frosting. Then BreMonster got a hold of it.

The initial plan was to fill with frosting and go from there, but I tried one more time to bake a backup cake. You know, just in case. It came out a million times better.

I'm so charming, aren't I?

More pics to come tomorrow. I've got fondant to play with.

Military Monday

2009-06-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

This weekend was so awesome, I really didn't want it to end. Down here at NAS Fallon, there are Carrier Air Groups and whatnot that come through for training. Well, my old squadron is down here for some training exercises. People cycle through commands every couple of years, and a few old friends of mine transferred out, but have since transferred back in to my old squadron and are down here in Nevada for the training cycle. I can't tell you how thrilled I was to see my old friends.

We had a barbecue on Saturday and it was so nice to be able to sit around, swap stories, and these people knew. There was no explaining acronyms, no trying to remember who was who or what was where. We'd worked in the same spaces, we'd worked on the same birds for goodness sake. It was fabulous.

It made me miss being active duty. I have my times when I miss being in the Navy. I really do. The camaraderie, the feeling of doing something worthwhile. Of doing something you can be incredibly proud of.

Nothing will ever replace the adrenaline rush of being on the flight line and doing the final checks on an EA-6B Prowler. You're standing there, even the slight gust of the exhaust is enough to push you just a little. Head on a swivel, constantly looking around, constantly observing, making sure everything's starting up fine. The hand signals flow, and you're thankful for them because you're lucky if you can hear the engine over the thundering of your heart. And before you know it, it's time to get under the bird.

Yeah, that's right. This mammoth beast has both engines turning and you've got to get up close and personal. I think that was my favorite part, being so close to the bird that the noise reverberated through my whole body. Checking one last time that everything was good to go and that the pilot can take her up for a flight. A flight during which someone will ultimately do something stupid break your baby, and she'll be right back in the hangar, waiting for you to come out and patch her up.

Even the hangar birds were fun. They were puzzles to be figured out. Routine maintenance that you volunteered for just to do something to make the day go faster. They were life savers when you needed to rob a part for a jet on the line that needed to fly. They were engines to change out and you could sit around and bullshit with people from other shops. Take a break and go to the smoke pit, light up and vent about your supervisor or your chief, joke about the weekend and who got drunk or did whatever.

But it also made me remember that I don't miss still having to deal with sexism. It still thrives in a multitude of forms in the military. Don't bother getting riled up about it. There's nothing you can do about it except suck it up, flip the bird to the men, and work hard. Prove them wrong and you'll be accepted as a hard working female who's worth the time to train. But getting them to give you the chance to prove them wrong is a battle in and of itself.

Why is that? Because for as many hard working women as the military has, there are always those who will pull the "female card" whenever it's convenient for them. There are those of us who work hard to break the stereotypes and to gain equal acceptance. But there are just as many who go off and make the rest of us look bad. It's a thin, tense, tightrope to walk when you're in, but there was so much good to make up for it.

I tried. I know I tried. God knows I tried. But there was so much to fight against. No one in my shop actually wanted to take the time to train me. I didn't know much, but I was so eager to learn. And if that's the only thing I could pass on to a man in the military, something I've told MarvMan time and again, I would be happy. If you have a worker who's new but wants to learn, dont' squash that. Keep that fire alive and harness that. It may take them longer to catch on, or maybe they'll pick up quick, but nurture that passion and encourage it. Otherwise, you'll wind up with an untrained, disgruntled worker. Everyone was surprised that when I was transferred to the tool room while I was pregnant with Anaya, I excelled and did better than I ever had in my original shop. A hint, guys? They took the time to train me down there, and didn't hold me back.

For as much as I miss it, and for as much as I don't miss it, I don't regret getting out. I may get back in when both girls are school age. Maybe I'll go officer since I'll have my degree. Maybe I'll be a civilian contractor. I'll never be able to get away from the military, though; I'm married to it. But getting out?

Best. Decision. Ever.

Rare morning off

2009-06-20T07:56:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, MarvMan is quite possibly the most amazing man on the face of the planet. Take yesterday, for example. Yesterday was one of those days where the command was taking a day off, but they couldn't just "take the day off." Days like these become mandatory fun days or some sort of community service days.

In MarvMan's case, it was a little of both. They had decided to do a car wash and then go bowling. The Warrant Officer even bought them pizza while they were up at the bowling alley.

MarvMan happens to also be a proud papa. Very proud. So I was overjoyed when he informed me that he would be taking both A-Girl and BreMonster with him when he went in to "work" with him. The morning came, I dressed the girls, sent them off with MarvMan and went back in the house, excited for a day to do whatever I pleased.

I couldn't think of a damn thing to do.

I've had my moments before where the girls have driven me up a wall. Where all I wanted was a vacation, or at least to live closer to my family so when I'm stressed I can take the girls over, drop them off, and leave for awhile. I've had entire weeks where I wanted nothing more than to go back to work, if only to get a guaranteed eight hour break.

But yesterday reminded me that I'm in the right place. The silence was overwhelming and without two small pairs of feet following me around, I suddenly felt lost. Even for just that brief period of time, the house was a strange place without my babies and I missed them.

Doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the time, though. I just wish I'd remembered my non-domestic hobbies a bit sooner. Because instead of soaking in the bathtub, painting my toenails or giving myself a manicure, what'd I do?

I cleaned.

And was so grateful for the normal day to resume when MarvMan had to bring them home early because they were tired and fussy. Just don't tell MarvMan. Maybe a couple more of these mornings off and I'll get the hang of selfishly enjoying them.

More motivation!

2009-06-18T12:59:00.001-07:00

I posted yesterday about joining along with weight loss over at Mommatudes, and today I've found even more inspiration and motivation to get fit.

No, that's not me, but I wish it was! And it will be, soon! That gorgeous woman in the photo is Leah, creator of BookieBoo, a fitness hangout for moms! She's lost 100 pounds, and she's done it for her family.

I don’t do the exercise for me, I do it for my family. I’m a better mom and person when I’ve worked out. I’m more patient, loving, and of course have more energy. The days I haven’t exercised are like mornings without coffee…I’m an absolute shrew. I do it for them, and that is my motivation.

People say you should exercise for yourself and put yourself first, but I don’t believe that. I think some things are greater than you are…like your family. And they deserve it.
(original posting here)

I can totally identify. On workout days, I'm in such a better mood. It's only Day 3 of my own personal journey (you know, this time with feeling and commitment) and I can tell the difference, MarvMan and the girls can tell the difference. I'm getting myself in shape and my family is benefiting the most.

But creating Bookieboo isn't all Leah's done. Now she's launching MomActive radio, hosted by Leah herself and Fiona Bryant of The Bantering Blonde.

Tonight is a special night for MomActive, because there's going to be a Twitter launch party from 5-8 pm PST! Just go on over to TweetGrid and use the hashtag #bookieb and you'll be joining in the party! Tons of prizes and lots of great moms!

I'll be there - will you?

The road back to me

2009-06-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

Physically speaking, of course.

There was a time in my life when I was fairly skinny. Some may even have said that I was of an athletic build. I was heavily involved in soccer, and was a pretty physically active kid all around, really.

Then puberty hit. And it was not kind.

At first I was excited for the curves to appear - my body was morphing in front of my eyes! (For a kid who read The Animorphs books, this truly was an exciting thing to see.) I was still fairly active, but then my social aptitude took a dive and I became more of a hermit. The curves I once thought were cute, became the bane of my existence.

Then I got that job at McDonald's.

Joining the Navy helped immensely. I went from 175 pounds* down to around 155. Twenty pounds in eight weeks. And when I first got out of boot camp, continued PT during A-School (technical training for my civilian friends) really helped to keep the weight off. That and whatever they put in the food at the galley. And no, I still don't want to know what it is.
*For my height of 5'8", at 175 I was out of weight range, but my recruiter and the people at boot camp flubbed for me, since I was going to lose it and be within regs anyway.

After A-School, I got a little lazy - I despise running, anyway - and became a member of the "3 Mile Club." Every PFA (physical fitness assessment) includes a 1.5 mile run. Our PFAs are held twice a year. I think you get the idea of how much I actually ran.

Then came kids. During my pregnancy with A-Girl, I had hyperemesis, couldn't keep anything down whatsoever for the first trimester and lost 30 pounds. So after I had her, I was right back to 150. Thank you, young body. My body was not so kind to me after BreMonster, though. I'm still dealing with things jiggling that really shouldn't be jiggling and soft areas that shouldn't be quite so soft. I have to be careful with wearing a belt with my jeans so I don't create a muffin top effect while still holding the jeans up around my waist. (Stupid me getting the stupid low rise jeans...)

I've tried and I've failed at different diets and exercise routines. But something clicked these past few months. I grabbed this workout system at Scheel's about a month ago called Barry's Boot Camp. It may seem cheesy because it's one of those As Seen On TV setups and makes the usual claims all those workout things will promise to get you to fork out dough. But it was on sale.

I can't resist a sale.

After conferring with MarvMan, he told me that all these workouts can actually work. It just requires that you actually commit to it, change your eating habits, and keep going even after the initial program is done with. (As in, if I wanna look like I want to look, I need to keep going even after I look that way.) Makes enough sense. So I'm the owner of the Barry's Boot Camp workout system. Thingy. Setup. Whatchamacallit.

I've been trying off and on to get started. The program they recommend is a one month program and you slowly build up to the highest intensity. It also included a "Code Red" workout guaranteeing rapid fire weight loss and toning in 6 days. Naturally, I shied away from it. The regular workouts were fine, and many of the exercises reminded me of what we'd done in boot camp.

And then I was inspired by a wonderful woman who writes a blog called Mommatudes. She's going for it. And I thought, "Hey. I can do this, too." So I signed up and I'm getting fit with her!

So I'm committed now. And started with the "Code Red" workouts to jump start everything. I thought I was going to die on Day 1. I'm on Day 2 now, and things are looking up. Hope I can get some results before I'm headed out to PA in July! I want to look good for that LFO concert!!

xoxo

Weekend Wrap & ENT Update

2009-06-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

Phew! What a weekend! It's been insanely productive and retroactive all at once. Those following my Twitter feed know that last night, while working on a project for my Computer Literacy class, my hatred for Microsoft Office and all other things related to Microsoft was solidified. Seriously, I don't even know why they put me in there except to torture me.

I also started going through photographs from back in the day. So be on the lookout - photos from my teen years and specifically my Navy career will be popping up here and there. Ahh, the memories are so bittersweet. I miss it and yet I don't. But that's a whole other post.

In other news for the weekend, I purchased my plane tickets to Pennsylvania! I'm so thrilled - July isn't coming fast enough! Also purchased the tickets to the LFO show at the Crocodile Rock Cafe, which is also extremely excitement inducing! 37 days and I'll be in Pennsylvania and seeing LFO with my girl, Stacey!

The garden is... stagnant at the moment. Hoping to plant this afternoon. There's so much on the to do list, it's insane. Especially since I lost half the day to running to Reno for my follow up with the ENT to go over the results of the ENG. (Enough acronyms for you?)

So what's going on with that, anyway? Well, it's been diagnosed that I've got some damage going on with the nerve(s) in my left ear. It accounts for a lot of things - the dizzy spells, rushing sounds, spatial difficulties. (See? There's a medical reason behind me being a klutz. Don't you feel foolish.) There's nothing that can be done to reverse the damage, unfortunately. There is, however, therapy.

I'll be going in again soon to have a balance test done to accurately measure the difficulties that I do have and to see what exactly we're working with. Then, it's off to physical balance therapy in order to retrain my brain and body to cope with the lack of output from my left ear. Strengthening the other parts of my body that play into helping me spatially and with balance in order to make up for weaknesses elsewhere.

Should physical therapy not work or my condition worsens, there will be talks of MRIs and surgery, but I don't see see that happening. More like it's not going to - no one's cutting on my head, thank you very much.

I was initially discouraged at the doctor's diagnosis, specifically the part that there was no hope of reversing the damage. But I'm very grateful that there are options for treatment and that we are moving forward in the right direction. There is, indeed, light at the end of the tunnel.

My SAHM Morning

2009-06-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

For those that don't know, SAHM means stay at home mom. I do work from the home as well, which makes me a WAHM, but there was no "work" involved in this morning's story, per se. Not the kind that would normally qualify as work, anyhow. What was involved, however, was a lot of frustration. Anyone who thinks a SAHM doesn't do anything? Pay attention. Because this was just my morning.

It's been one of "those" days so far.

Was in the middle of making bread when Anaya got up. Lucy (dog we're dog sitting) and Washburn had been let out of the bedroom and were wrestling in the hallway. Anaya was just trying to get out of the hallway, so I went to open the door. Beaned her head with the doorknob. Apologized and proceeded to let the dogs out.

Put Lucy's canned food (this is important later) in her bowl inside, took a bowl of food outside to Wash. Let Lucy in to eat. By this point Breanne was up but I needed to get the bread dough done so she stayed in her room.

Proceeded to go about finishing the bread dough while arguing with Anaya about whether or not she was going to have a PB sandwich or oatmeal for breakfast. She wanted a PB sandwich, the reason I'm making bread is because I have none. She didn't want oatmeal. So I told her if she didn't want oatmeal I guess she wasn't eating.

After finally getting the bread dough kneaded I realize I completely spaced on the oil that goes into the recipe. Said screw it and called it good, oiled it and set it aside to rise. At that point Breanne could no longer be ignored, so I went to get her and changed a diaper that could, in fact, legally be considered biological hazmat.

I went to the garbage can to throw something away shortly after dealing with the hazmat and promptly sliced open not just one but two fingers on the lid of the aforementioned can of dog food. And while I'm bleeding and cussing up a storm, Breanne found her way to the baby gate and has started yelling at me because she's hungry.

Shut your gob! I'm bleeding!

I made that girl the world's biggest bowl of oatmeal and set her up to eat in her high chair and then made Anaya a bowl of oatmeal. Which she promptly took two bites out of and decided she didn't want it so she got up from the table. Note to self: Next time if she's that insistent on having something with peanut butter in it, shove a glob of peanut butter in the oatmeal. That'll teach her.

And then Marv, my wonderful, loving, amazing husband who is currently on night shift, got up. Why? Because he was called in to work. At 11 am. So now he's going to be gone and will only be back briefly around two. And then off to work again until 10 pm.

Who's gonna come kiss my boo boo and make it better?

Where's that serenity prayer when I need it?

This post was initially published November 12, 2008

Thursday Thoughts

2009-06-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

Originally, this was going to be a well thought out, terribly philosophic, post of a poetic nature the likes of which would even make Shakespeare cry. (Mostly in pain. But, oh, he would shed a tear.)

However, it's not turning out like that. I'm full of entirely too much joy at the moment and fangirl squeals that would most likely have my mini-Schnauzer (I just had to retype that fifteen times to spell it right) in a tizzy. (Eat it, spell check, tizzy is too a word.) But anyhow, on to the news.

Awhile back, I made a post about some old mix CDs I'd found, listed the tracks and ran through the artists I used to listen to, reminiscing. (That was two or three blog name changes ago, don't worry if you haven't kept up.) For those who are too interested in this post - trust me, it's in your best interest to stay right here - the most prominent group on those mix CDs was a group called LFO. Oldschool, for me, anyway.

I love these guys. Love, love, love, love. Did I mention I love them? Honestly, while I was into the whole boyband thing back in the day, LFO always stood out, far and above the rest. Even *whispers* the Backstreet Boys. I don't know - it was something about the lyrics, the way they sang... But I'm getting off topic.

They're going out on tour again! It's the age of the reunions and this is, by far, the most exciting for me. Now, they've got a lot of East Coast dates. You all know (or now you know) that I'm originally from PA. East Coast girl. But you also know (or now you know) that I'm stuck out here in Nevada. There's a show in Allentown, PA. Not too far from my home town. So I decided to get my gorgeous best friend, Stacey, some tickets to the show. I told her my plans and she's stoked, but she wants me to go with. I tell her I need to talk to MarvMan. Who I didn't think would be on board with this idea.

So I waited until he got home. And presented the idea to him...

I'M GOING HOME!

For a week! And without the kids! Just me! Flying solo! I will be flying from all the way out here in Reno, NV to PA for a week in July, hanging with Stacey and going to see Rookie of the Year, Go Crash Audio, Kiernan McMullan, AND LFO!!!

If you haven't picked up on it yet - I'm insanely excited!! So there's your Thursday Thoughts from me.

Wednesday Writing

2009-06-10T14:48:00.000-07:00

I was so caught up in my plans to go for crab legs with my ever amazing mamas, Donna and Jeri, that I almost forgot to write a post. Never mind that yesterday was absolutely moot, as there was nothing of interest to write about. Well, there was, but I wasn't feeling up to writing about it.

So for today, I'm going to write about my passion: writing. Specifically things dealing with writer's block. I'm still forming good writing habits and all that, and sure, I've never been formally published, but as a struggling writer, I feel I'm able enough to commiserate with other writers. The whole struggling thing makes us comrades, see, and since we're in the trenches together we might as well swap stories.

As stated previously, I'm not a fan of books on how to write. They're not my thing and they seem to narrow the process of writing down into a process that you merely need to learn the steps of, and then you're done. I do, however, like tips and tricks that I can try out on my own and discard or keep as necessary, without feeling like I've failed at the whole process.

One of these has been journaling. You remember that - when you'd get those diaries when you were little and write all your secrets in them? Then you'd hide it in what you thought was the best hiding spot ever but really it's not because anybody not looking for it would actually find it? Yep. Except now, of course, it's a composition notebook covered in duct tape and hidden in my closet. Why is it hidden in my closet? Because little hands lurk about in my house, y'all.

Cute little hands.

But don't let the cuteness fool you.

Now that the gratuitously cute photo has been shared, back on topic. I write in my journal for however long I feel and as much as I want. I do, however, have a minimum time limit. Thirty minutes. And one hour maximum. I feel it's best to set some requirements and expectations, though I want the process to be as relaxed as possible.

The journaling has been therapeutic in so many ways. I can clear out that junk in my head that's blocking me from writing in my fictional pursuits. I can even simply sit and write about the fact that I'm having a difficult time continuing a scene. It's also an option to sit there and brain map. If I feel brain dead, I can simply doodle.

Or, I can come here and blog.

Weekend Wind-Down

2009-06-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

For those keeping up around here, arguments were resolved yesterday. MarvMan and A-Girl had a fantastic time at the Special Olympics in Reno, even if they were mostly cold and wet. It rained all day Saturday, the poor things. I wish I'd sent MarvMan with the camera so he could take pictures. Alas, lesson learned.

The weekend, though, was very productive for me.

Firstly, we got rid of our behemoth entertainment center...
It was a huge, unnecessary piece that we didn't need and was simply taking up space and making the living room look more cramped than it was.

Plus - look at all that surface area. We live in the desert - sand = dust and I hate dusting to begin with! (That would be BreMonster popping out from behind it, if you were wondering.)

This new setup that we've got, however, is so much better! More streamlined, I can actually use the light coming in through that big window of ours. And the TV isn't overwhelmed by unnecessary shelving! Oh, it makes me so happy to have such a better organized solution in our living room! Did I mention I'm thrilled with having less to clean?

Even better? The new setup? FREE! One of my neighbors had gone to a storage unit auction and found that little gem, so when she brought it back and mentioned possibly selling it at her garage sale if nobody wanted/needed it, I snatched that baby up!

So now that I've updated you on my ever so exciting weekend that kind-of-sort-of was / wasn't - how was your weekend?

The weekend that wasn't.

2009-06-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

So remember in the other post, where I said we were going to spend the weekend in Reno? Yeah, obviously that didn't happen. As I'm sitting here, at home, writing this blog post. In my pajamas. At 8:36 on a Saturday morning. In Fallon, Nevada.

Now, let me start this off by saying that ditching on the trip to Reno was entirely my decision. MarvMan and I got into an argument and to spite him, I said we weren't going. I have no clue why depriving myself of a trip to Reno would be that detrimental to MarvMan. Because he's required to go due to his volunteer work at the Special Olympics. So either way, MarvMan gets to go.

Have you ever had those kind of arguments? They start about the simplest - even the stupidest - of things. Usually something small, a minor irritation that could easily be solved by saying, "Hey, I'm really bothered by (insert infraction here)."

For some of us, though, the situation rarely goes like that. I go about, huffing and puffing, correcting the infraction - this one in particular had to do with the laundry - and all the while ensuring that everyone in the house knows that I'm upset. It's childish behavior, I'll wholly admit to that. Then when "discussion time" came around, I was entirely too aggressive about the matter with MarvMan, and it escalated until it was no longer about the laundry.

Well, it was still about the laundry. Then it was also about the dishes. And what kind of music I listen to. How he's a stubborn harda$$ and needs to chill. I'm surprised my extremely short haircut and lip piercing weren't brought up - he's not a fan of either. Suddenly, the very things I profess to love about him are now the very things causing problems.

And I capped it off by pulling out from the Reno trip.

It's been beneficial in a sense for myself and BreMonster. We've spent tons of time snuggling. And I got hold of a new entertainment center. Got to focus on the positives, right?

But I think that tonight, I'm going to bake a cake for MarvMan. Just to let him know that I realize I overreacted and made a mountain out of a mole hill. Hopefully this communication thing between us will get better over time. We're both only 24, we've got time, right?

What in the world #fcubedpeeps?!

2009-06-05T08:22:00.000-07:00

If you follow me and @oliveshoot on Twitter, you may have found yourself asking over the past week, "What in the world is #fcubedpeeps?" I am here to tell you!

First of all, I have to tell you that this idea is the brain child of Leslie and myself, and you really need to check her blog out as well.

Conversation came up last #FollowFriday about celebrities and other famous people that we'd recommend. I made the comment that if we did that, it would be a fairly short list. The amount of celebrities/famous people that actually get Twitter and use it as it was intended is a pretty small amount.

Now, before continuing further, I should note that the issue of celebrities being on Twitter has been discussed before. The lack of following back, lack of engagement - it's something that can upset Twitter users because Twitter is based on engagement and reciprocity. Others don't necessarily give a hoot and find their tweets entertaining. If you're one of the latter and don't enjoy a good lark now and again, this is probably not for you.

Regardless, we started nosing around, finding various celebs to follow and observe. We've been watching carefully and are preparing to begin releasing our lists for our first ever #fcubedpeeps! I'm super excited! We want to share celebs that we find to be worth the follow.

For those celebs who might be reading this post, and for those who want to add their own recommendations to the list, you may be wondering: What's the criteria?

Reciprocity: Who do they follow back? We're understanding that maybe they don't adopt the same "follow everyone back" principles that many of us operate on. But are their only follows @PerezHilton, et al?
Tweet Quality: Are their tweets interesting? Yes, we've got the usual eaters/sleepers. Maybe there's not enough time in the day other than to let the world know what you're having for breakfast and when you're crashing for the night. But hey, occasionally updating about what you're up to, giving us a more personal glimpse in your life, satisfying our inner voyeur - isn't that what Twitter's most basic of concepts is all about?
Follower Engagement: Do they know how to @ reply to people? Do they thank people for RTs, comments on TwitPics? Replies to other celebs don't count in this category - we want interaction on levels that stretch deeper than that.

This is for everyone to participate in. Twitter is a community, and this little bubble of an idea is meant to be released into the Twitterverse, and will hopefully grow.

It should be mentioned that, insofar as we're concerned, these famous peeps don't have to interact with us (@linlori, @oliveshoot) directly. We're not @PerezHilton, we won't tear them down because we feel snubbed. Our focus is community participation on the whole. We won't actively advocate against anyone on Twitter - we don't want to discourage anyone. Rather, we want to acknowledge and send good vibes to those famous people who do get it.

I don't think I'll ever be a country girl

2009-06-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

It's come up quite often, especially since we moved down here to the middle-of-nowhere, Nevada. For those of you who may not know, Fallon, Nevada is an extremely remote location somewhere east of Reno. How remote, you ask?

So remote, we had to be given "Overseas Screenings" before transferring down here. Because it's considered "isolated duty."

So when I say I won't ever be a country girl, please realize I've been trying to fit in for the past year now. I can't believe I've survived for a year out here. There have been some close calls, I'm sure, but I've survived.

I've been off-roading. I have seen lizards and didn't scream. I've even gone rabbit hunting, killed a jackrabbit and then managed to skin it, and various others. Faster than MarvMan, my husband. And without vomiting. I was so proud.

I routinely shop at Wal-Mart like it's going out of style. And not necessarily because of budget concerns, either. Because it's the biggest store Fallon has. I go shooting with the hubz and have given the okay for my four year old to learn about shooting a .22 long rifle, and she has shot a 12 gauge shotgun under Papa MarvMan's direct supervision.

I surprisingly don't mind getting dirty.

But good lawd, I miss the city y'all.

I miss being able to talk tech and people know what I'm talking about. I miss being able to squeal over new brands and the shininess of it all and people appreciated that. I miss coffee being the lifeblood of the streets, the hustle and bustle of it all. Trying to decide which is better - a street view or a river view. Not that I ever got that chance, but still... And yes, river view beats street view any time, unless you're overlooking a historical downtown section. Or, y'know, if you're in New Orleans for Mardis Gras.

I've learned to appreciate the loud cows in the morning. The silence broken by the sunrise and filled with the souns of birds and other animals as they wake up and start their day. It's really quite beautiful, idyllic and serene.

Oh, and of course, the sound of jet engines as the base wakes up.

This morning, MarvMan called to verify plans for this weekend. He's volunteering at the Special Olympics and will be having to stay overnight at least tonight and into tomorrow. But when he called, he asked me if we wanted to stay in Reno for the weekend - all of us. In the city.

I told him "yes" as politely and coolly as I could. And when he hung up? I did a happy dance. Full on, bouncing around, squealing and clapping - there may even have been some form of the Running Man in there. I'm going back to the city this weekend!

Health Update

2009-06-04T14:22:00.000-07:00

I'm too lazy to find the first few postings, so just know that for those of you just joining, I've been having lovely health issues that I'm finally getting seen for recently. The problems have been narrowed down to tinnitus (ringing in the ear / hearing loss), coupled with recurrent vertigo.

So the ENG was today. Hooo that was so fun. (note sarcasm) The doc was super nice. We did a more in depth hearing test and I could tell there were things that were lacking, so we'll see where we end up on that front, if indeed that is separate from everything else. Hoping they'll find something to do about the tinnitus, this ringing is just unbearable. It makes me so sensitive to noise and loudness, makes me cranky and irritable... oi.

On to the ENG. I had no video goggles (super disappointed, I was all set and ready to pull off my best Star Trek look), but instead there were about five or six electrodes taped to my face to monitor eye movement - and maybe possible brain activity? (I know, what do they think they were looking for?)

Did the sit up, lie back test and of course nothing happened. On the day of the test, you will be healthy as a horse. Then came watching the light go back and forth, up and down, slowly and then at varying speeds, and then it jumped all around. Oodles of fun as my eyes spazzed.

And then came the water. I'd been told it was air, apparently it's water. Shot into your ear canal. With a little cone thing. Blech. First the cold, which made my eyes jiggle around like a pair of dice in a Yahtzee cup. All well and good, I can handle that. It was the warm/hot water (think like a hot tub-ish) that made me dizzy and woozy.

All during the time after the water was done and he was monitoring until everything settled, he was asking me questions: states that begin with letter (insert here), boy/girl names that start with the letter (insert here), animals that start with the letter (insert here). Now, to really set the stage, the way I was feeling directly after these blasts of water was something akin to being drunk and high, but not in a good way. And here is what I learned:

I know no other states that start with K besides Kentucky.
I was retaught that Canada is not, in fact, a State.
The only animal/bug that starts with G that I can think of is a Gorilla.
The only state that begins with the letter M is Massachusetts.
I am capable of remembering that Georgia is not only a state in the US, it is also a country somewhere near Russia.
I obviously don't care about France, because I couldn't think of any countries starting with F.

-My apologies to all my teachers. You try thinking when your head's spinning like that.

My left side was distinctly less severe than my right. I don't know if that has any bearing on the results, and now it's more of the waiting game until Dr. Lemay reads the outcome of the tests and sends the report on to Dr. Beall for the final analysis.

Bless you all for the thoughts, prayers, love and support.

My body hates me

2009-06-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

aka - Fast Food Binges Suck

No, really, it does. I swear it. We'd been eating a ton of fast food lately, so when this past payday rolled around, my brilliant self said, "No more!" To be honest, the stuff is crap, anyway, and wreaks havoc on my system. Don't believe me? Skip eating at McDonald's for two or three months. Then go back - order anything on the menu. Your toilet will hate you and your plumber will giggle.

So I've ventured back toward my crunchy roots. It's nice to lay back and enjoy convenience for a period of time, but it makes me feel so craptastic, I'm running back to my oven in no time. In addition to eating at home more often, I decided to also get back in the routine of doing yoga every morning. I found some videos on YouTube and put together a one hour session that has been working wonders.

But then came detoxing from the nastiness that is fast food. I did a detox yoga routine for a day or two and oh, my goodness. In addition to all the gastrointestinal issues while the nasty stuff from the fast food was working its way out? Migraines. Skull splitting, vomit-inducing migraines. Slammed with two of them in the space of two weeks. Thank goodness for short naps, super hot showers, acupressure and breathing exercises.

Oh, and Excedrin and Coke. No, I am not above over the counter remedies while I'm in the middle of texting MarvMan, begging him to take me to the hospital so I can get shot up with Demerol or beg for Morphine.

Now, thankfully, I'm over the detox period. Just in time for what? Oh, that's right. The weight gain / loss fluctuation that comes with changing my eating habits until my body figures out what's going on. Lost three pounds, gained one, lost two pounds, gained three, lost one. Then two pounds. Overnight. What?! My body hates me.

My apology to it won't be actualized until the long term, but I hope that it accepts it sometime soon.

After all, we're starting cardio next week.

Why I'm not a fan of "writing" books.

2009-05-31T11:38:00.000-07:00

I've been engaging in discussions lately with other writer friends in regards to books that instruct a budding author on how to write their novel. Now, before I go any further, I need to say that I have read quite a few of these "how to" and "so you wanna" style books. I've tried their methods. Some things have worked, some things haven't.

I think, though, that these books can be detrimental in a way. (I'll list some titles at the end of the ones I've found inspiring or helpful, but I don't want everyone stumbling over the name-dropping right now.) The fact remains, that while there are those of us who know how to use them, there are those of us that know absolutely nothing about how to use these books.

Where to start? There is no one "how to" writing book that is going to be the be-all and end-all of novel writing. For anyone. Out of all the books and interviews I've read about other authors, I haven't seen a word about, "Oh, well, I used this, that, and the other book, and the method was just perfect!" And I think that's something that most aspiring authors seem to be searching for. That one hand-hold that will lead them to greatness.

The sobering reality is that it doesn't exist. Trust me - I've looked, I've tried. And I'm still sitting here, mostly unpublished. (Save for some articles for Ecorazzi and a poem here and there.) It has nothing to do with a lack of dedication: The simple fact is that there is no set method for anyone when it comes to writing. Unfortunately, there are people out there who are sitting on ideas, waiting for that one book that's going to be their guiding light. And the search for that beacon becomes the very impediment to their writing.

Getting published, of course, is a whole other story, and there are plenty of books that will help you build up the connections you need, but the core - actually writing the novel - remains a mystery and is a unique process for each and every writer.

I think that's what bugs me the most about these writing books. As though there is a set method for everyone to follow in order to churn out that one novel that will get them started on being published regularly. It breaks it down and makes it as though once you've found that magic formula, it's all peas and gravy from there. Which it isn't.

The truth of it is that writing is a blood, sweat, and tears process. All the hand-holding and reading in the world isn't going to get you anywhere. You've just got to sit down and do it - figure out what works along the way.

Scar Tissue

2009-05-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

So I just finished reading Anthony Kiedis's memoir, Scar Tissue, last night. And I have to say, I was thoroughly impressed.

I feel the need to preface the gushing that's about to follow by saying that I am not a fan of nonfiction. It's not my thing for two reasons:

I'm not generally interested in reading an entire book on a singular topic that's not an instructional guide. I lose interest quickly.
I'm also not a fan of reading other people wax poetic about themselves and their lives. It's just not my thing. If I wanted to do that, I'd write about my own life. (Which is perhaps what this blog is for. So thank you for taking the time to read my drivel. You're an angel.)

That said, I originally saw the book at Barnes & Noble in Reno about a month or so back. I couldn't help it - with a cover like that, how could anyone not look? So I have to confess that the fact that Anthony Kiedis is made of pure sexy had a lot to do with the purchase of the book. However, I didn't buy it at first sight. The book wooed me from afar until I had to go to Reno yet again, this time to pick up MarvMan from the airport after he'd finished schooling in Virginia.

As soon as I walked into the Barnes & Noble again, I was consumed with finding this book and buying it that day. I'd originally seen it featured upstairs and spent a good half hour searching it out before finally asking someone, "Look, I'm in a bind. I'm on a time schedule and I desperately need to find Anthony Kiedis's book, Scar Tissue. The computer search system isn't cooperating with me and I've got two small children who are unhappy. Where has it gone?" Lucky for me it wasn't sold out, it had been moved downstairs in the Rock books. Huzzah!

And still it took me a week or two more before I read it. I had two other books I was reading at the time, another of which was also nonfiction, and I was struggling. Thankfully, I finished one of the two books and cracked Scar Tissue open.

Right from the get go, I was drawn in by Kiedis's ability to make the reader feel as though you're simply having a conversation with him. At times I truly felt as though we were sitting together somewhere and I was listening to him recount his life for me. (Which, given his gorgeous voice, I really wouldn't mind if he was simply reading a grocery list.) His voice is clear, unique, and strong throughout the entire book. Kiedis is a capable and straightfoward writer - the book never loses momentum and everything is laid bare in equal detail for the reader to see. It's peppered with vulgarity, and yet it's never an unnecessary sort of vulgarity. It's not there for the sake of being shocking - many things that have happened to Kiedis are shocking enough - or being crass. It's simply that the word fits.

The most moving part of the book is his attitude toward life, and the sincerity and honesty with which he recounted his life and career with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I thought I admired and loved the band before? Even more so now. His experiences were eye-opening and the story of his life as a whole was not only touching, it was, for lack of a better word, very raw and real. I was able to relate on some levels to his struggles with addiction, having been there before myself, and despite the general obstacle of not even knowing this man, I felt empathetic toward him, finding myself laughing at some experiences and crying at others.

His reverence toward the women who have come and gone in his life is positively refreshing, and wholly unexpected given modern attitudes toward women, specifically those that populate Hollywood. The bond between Kiedis and his bandmates is clearly felt, even when retelling rough times between them. It's easy to see why the band has been one of the most influential of our time and clearly one of the most magnetic.

The back cover reads that it is "a story of dedication and debauchery, of intrigue and integrity, of recklessness and redemption." And it truly is; that and so very much more. I'm so glad I followed that sudden compulsion and picked up this book - I'm certain I'll be reading it again in the future.

Surfacing for air!

2009-05-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

Hello, world. Welcome to my writing cave.

Oh my gosh! I've been so thrilled the past few days. I've been writing! Well, okay, more like I've been plotting and fleshing out characters and just yesterday began to actually write, but it's been so soul healing. I'd fallen off the path of writing every day: Life became hectic, I grew busy with other things, specifically school work. But I'm back in the swing and I couldn't be happier.

It certainly was like riding a bike. I'm grateful for the short stories the characters are inspiring me with in order to get to know them better while I plot out the larger project. I can tell that I'm rusty, and I know there are things that need working on, but I am on a regular schedule again. It's been so helpful for my mood - I've been practically giddy with any progress I get done on a daily basis, and right now, the creative mojo has been flowing like no other!

So if I drop off the radar every so often, it's because I've been kidnapped by my characters. Hit me up via the various methods of contact found on the blog and I'll confirm my not yet vegetative state. I think there will be more writing related content coming up. I'd love some discussion regarding character creation.

But for now, I've got to get a shower!
xoxo

Lost but not gone

2009-05-18T14:45:00.001-07:00

At least I hope. No, never you fear, I haven't lost a person. [prayers and positive vibes for my Gram and Grandma, of course] I believe I mentioned previously about Kaylee's hard drive frying out. [Kaylee's my Mac Mini.] Total user error and the amazing people at Apple hooked me up and fixed her in no time at all. I've got her back and have been happily enjoying Leopard and all the other perks of being a Mac user / owner all over again.

Well, there's an ironic twist to the entire tale. For those who may not know me, I love to write. It's something I hope to make a career out of. It's a passion that has not died since the day I won my first poetry contest in the fourth grade. In fact, that accomplishment and the blue ribbon that accompanied it only served to further my dream that one day, I would be a writer who was actually paid for her work.

Fast forward to Kaylee frying out. Trust me, there's not much interesting writing wise in between then and now, save for a few glorious escapades in fan fiction, and a few aborted novel manuscripts. The interesting twist of irony in this entire tale is that when Kaylee fried, I was actually attempting a backup of sorts. Going through, cleaning off the hard drive and backing up the important files. What didn't get backed up before she died on me?

You got it. My writing folder. Everything I had ever written or worked on in the last six months (or in some cases, in a year) is gone. Gone, gone, gone. Everything. However... thanks to my fabulous sister, Jess, I am taking this in stride.

Today I embarked upon a cleaning of the desk, to involve a ritual to cleanse the desk, and Kayles, of any negative energy, essentially turning my desk into a workspace of positivity and creativity.

See? It's working already - I'm blogging!

I needed a win

2009-05-16T09:38:00.001-07:00

So I decided to blog. If I accomplish nothing else today, it shall be this.

I never dreamed attempting to juggle college and parenting would be such a challenge. I thought I had it handled, I thought, "Hey, this is a breeze. I can totally do this." Apparently not so much.

College in and of itself is deceiving, though. They toss you these easy courses, supposedly with the attempt of "easing" you into it. Lies, all of them. Things are easy, one settles into the routine that comes with the easy courses and then - BAM! Eight page research paper coupled with in-depth discussion posts on plagiarism that need to amount to essays in and of themselves, what it is, and the avoidance thereof.

I think this is the third class in which I've had to discuss plagiarism. How difficult a concept is it? I struggle with ensuring everything is cited properly, but I think given that we're all in college, we would know what plagiarism is and the consequences thereof.

Regardless, for this current class, it all boils down to a research paper. An eight. Page. Research. Paper. How insane. I love the research part. Digging up information isn't the problem. It's connecting the dots and writing a piece of non-fiction that someone else has dictated I must write that I seem to have a problem with. It would be so much easier if this paper would simply write itself.